Insanity
by mamasutra
Summary: Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. I wanted this perfect man who ruled my heart with his tempermental ways and rough kisses. I tried to win his love at every opportunity even though I knew it was an exercise in madness.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

*****This fic will be a bit racier than others I have written since a lot of their relationship is centered on sex….There, you've been warned******

_**Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.**_

_**Albert Einstein**_

It had been a stressful day and I loved stressful days. It was on those days that I left work tired and sore. It was on those days that he could not fuck me hard enough or deep enough to take away whatever was tearing him apart from the inside no matter how many times he took me.

I looked over at the man who ruled my world with his smiles and moodiness. He was stunning lying back on the dark couch that we had just defiled for the hundredth time. His eyes were closed and he had a look of bliss on his handsome face that only made its appearance after he came. My eyes roved over his strong jaw that was covered with the start of a five o'clock shadow that went down his neck. His chest was covered with coarse hair that trailed down to a fine line over his flat belly in the most teasing manner. My eyes followed the line to his cock that was flipped up on his stomach. He was still half hard telling me he was far from being done with me tonight. His cock was shiny, almost sticky from my wetness and his cum. His cock was large even in its half asleep state, so large that it still hurt at times to have him inside of me, but it was a pain that I had learned to love; a pain that I learned to long for.

I shifted on the couch, sinking down to my knees between his bare legs. This was my favorite time after we had made love. It was in this time that he was blissful and I was allowed to touch him, love him, and show him how good to him I could be. I trailed my fingers over his chest softly, in a teasing manner that made him sigh without opening his eyes. I wanted him to open his eyes. I wanted him to see me as I loved him so well. I wanted him to look into my eyes and let me heal whatever fire was burning him from the inside out.

I traced my fingers over his wet cock, marveling over his smooth skin and the stickiness of our combined cum. My touch caused his cock to twitch with excitement as he shifted in his seat. I moved closer to him so my face was right in front of his cock that was slowly swelling under my gaze and touch. Kneeling before him like that I could the wetness of his cum start to seep out of me, wetting my inner thighs with all that he gave me in the two other times he had been inside of me that night. In the past, that feeling of slick wetness on my skin would have made me ill and want to shower, but now with Edward it was one more feeling I longed for since it was proof that he had loved me so well.

I leaned forward and slowly licked his half hard cock from base to tip, causing him to hiss in pleasure and pain from over stimulation as well as over use. I moaned as the salty tang that was us coated my tongue. I loved how he tasted. I loved the saltiness with the hint of sweet that was Edward. I loved to lick this cock, to suck him, and to urge him to cum in my mouth as I swallowed greedily whatever he gave me, but this was different. This was us and the mixed taste of my pussy and his cum made me want him all the more even though I knew I would pay for having him like this. I always paid dearly for loving him, but to me he was worth it. He was worth every bruise, every ache, and every hollow pain in my pussy that he caused.

"Oh doll, that's it," he hissed as he flexed his hips up, shoving his hardening cock deeper down my throat causing me to gag, but his hand up on head, tangled in my hair held me in place. It was torturous to try not to gag upon him, but I knew I could do it for him.

I let him slowly fuck my mouth as I licked and sucked with each pull back before he plunged back in.

"So fucking good," he murmured softly in a gritty tone that told me how good it was for him as I felt his hand pull my hair until it caused my scalp to burn with pain under his tight grip. I needed to see him. I needed to see his face as he took such pleasure from me. I needed to see his eyes as I loved his cock just like he wanted me to. I looked up and immediately was met with his green eyes staring back at me. He looked fierce. He looked beautiful. He looked tortured with pleasure and I loved it. I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to need me and I could see in that space of time he not only wanted me, he needed me desperately.

"Oh, fuck baby doll," he moaned loudly as he slowed his thrusting so I could lavish his now rock hard cock with my tongue. I could taste the precum in my mouth and just the hint of it made me ache for him to fuck me like only he could. I was an ache that made me press my thighs together; trying to create the friction I craved so badly.

"I don't know which one I love more, your sweet pussy or your amazing mouth," he moaned as I slowly sucked on him as I pulled back to on his cock until just the head was pressed against my tongue while I lapped at the slit on the top.

"Enough, enough, enough," he moaned as he moved, jerking his cock out of my mouth abruptly so that only a string of spit from my lips to his cock connected us. I watched with twisted excitement as his large cock bobbled in front of me, shiny from my spit.

"Stand up," he ordered me in a rough voice that hinted at the want at burned him as well as how well he controlled that want. He stood up in front of me, practically knocking me over before helping me to stand on shaky legs.

Edward half dragged and half led me back to his desk. It was the one place that night that he hadn't fucked me on and it was always a favorite of his. He walked me around to other side of his desk, knocking his chair out of the way before bending me over the glossy wood top that was covered in his work papers beside his computer. He moved me as if I was a prop, shifting me, turning me until I was just the way he wanted me to be before he stepped back to admire the view. I waited for his low hiss of happiness as he stared at my bare ass, my exposed pussy, and my legs that looked longer than what they were in the high heels that I was wearing just for him for a moment like this.

"You look so fucking perfect," he said softly as if it was a dirty secret.

"So perfect with your round ass up and you pretty little pussy exposed, just begging for my cock," he said slowly as I listened to his ragged breath. I felt his hand ghost over the skin of my back, brushing my long dark hair out of the way as he trailed his fingers over my skin. I shuddered beneath his touch, waiting, hoping, and anticipating his movement.

I could feel the heat of his body as he stepped closer to me causing me to moan slightly as he chuckled at my over eagerness. He had always teased me over my eagerness, but he never understood that I lived for my time with him. I loved him and I loved being this close to him.

I felt the head of cock graze my pussy, wetting himself in the sticky mess that he had helped create as it seeped out of me with my excitement to have him once more.

"Tell me what you want," he said as he pressed harder, sliding his cock long my slippery pussy lips to brush my clit causing a jolt of pleasure to shoot through me with each pass he made.

He knew what I wanted. He knew what I needed. He had always known. He was the one to show me what I needed and that need was him.

"You. I need you," I moaned as he laughed at me while I struggled to push back and force him inside of me.

"Tell me," he said firmly as he held me down so I could move, yet he continued to tease me with his cock moving against me. I moaned and tried to twist beneath him, but his grip was strong, pinning me to his desk top with his strength. It was painful and so fucking good that it made me even wetter than what I had been.

"Your cock. I need your cock," I moaned, giving in and giving him the words he needed to hear so he would end this senseless torturing and just fuck me. Without another word, Edward slammed deep inside of me causing me to gasp over his invasion while he grunted in response. He held still for a moment, letting me feel him, all of him as he pressed so deep inside that it made me ache with the pressure he caused.

Without warning he pulled out abruptly and then slammed back into me, causing the desk to shake with his thrust.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he moaned wantonly as he arched back while establishing a blistering pace of thrusting in and out of me. I knew he was teetering on the edge of control as he fucked me hard and fast while I held on to the desk as if it was the only thing anchoring me to him.

"Your pussy is so tight, doll," he said in a ragged tone as I arched back, tying take him deeper, letting him know that I would take whatever he would give me.

"That's it, doll, take my cock," he whispered as he fucked me. I could tell by the awe in his tone that he was watching himself as he buried himself so deep inside of me. He liked to watch and so did I. I loved to watch his big cock sliding in out of me, but tonight was all about him and what he needed. What he needed was for me to just take it and that's what I would do.

I clung to the desk on the edge of cumming while he slammed into me harshly. I could feel the tension in his thrust. I could feel how close he was as he grunted and pushed inside of me causing me shake as he reached a point inside of me that just almost forced me to cum on his command.

"That's it doll, cum on my cock,' he moaned encouragingly to me as I moaned like a whore for the only man who had ever made me cum like that. As the fire and bliss of my orgasm washed over I could her Edward's stuttering breath, telling me that he had reached his end as well.

"Fuck," he groaned loudly as he slammed inside of me pushing as deep as he could while shuddering through his release as l lay on the desk beneath him gasping from the pleasure he created mixed with the pain that he caused within me. It was wonderful and wrong. It was my everything and so was Edward. He knew this too. He knew my weakness and loved it while using it against me.

Edward half collapsed on top of me as he spilled the last of his anger and frustration inside of me, pinning me to his desk. He was heavy, but I loved being this close to him. I loved feeling him so spent from our lovemaking that he could barely move. I loved knowing that I affected him as much as what he affected me. I just loved him.

I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of him with me like this when the shrill ringing of his cell phone caused him jerk. Edward pulled out of my abruptly causing cum to dribble down the back of my thigh with his jerking movements. I watched him walk over to the couch, naked and proud while searching for his phone in the dress pants he had abandoned a while ago. I watched while still half lying on the desk as he answered the phone with a grin on his face that he only got for her. I watched him grab his clothes and walk into the bathroom that adjoined his office. This was often how our time together ended with a phone call from her and I would be left behind like yesterday's trash so he could whisper to her.

I felt the low sting of rejection mixed in with that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would get when he left me for his wife. I couldn't put a label on the feeling, but it was there. It left me feeling sick and hollow.

I hadn't really moved with Edward emerged with a smile on his face that was hers, never mine. He was dressed and ready to leave me once more. He always left me and while I should be used to it, I wasn't. I wasn't used to him walking away from me. I don't think I would ever be used to him walking away from me when I wanted him with me so badly.

I listened as he whispered _I love you_ to her and then ended the call with a sigh as if just hearing her voice soothed him in a way that I wasn't able to. I couldn't look at him since I knew what was coming. I knew what he would do, yet as he stepped closer to me I sat up and looked into his eyes.

When he and I were together Edward's eyes were so green and warm. They were bright and lively. They were all knowing and passionate. They consumed me and I loved it, but now that he had spoken to her I knew what I would see. I would find his eyes ice cold and almost cruel in how they looked at me.

"I need to go," he said firmly as if he was speaking to child. It was this tone that always hurt me after we had made love. I nodded in agreement since I knew it was true. He needed to go. He needed to be back with her. I knew he had obligations. He couldn't leave her. She was the mother of his daughter who was just a toddler. She had a hold a choke hold on him even if he never told me that and I hated her for it since I knew if it was a perfect world he would be with me. I knew this without a doubt that if the world was different, is his life was different he would be with me and not her.

"Would you mind cleaning up a bit before you go?" Edward asked me as he waved his hand around causing me to look around at my surroundings. It was then that I noticed how during our love making we had pushed papers and pens off his desk. We had shoved his monitor so that it had toppled over on its side.

"Of course," I said softly as I moved slowly like a brand new colt just learning to walk while he watched me. Edward stepped closer and took my hands in his to pull me close to him without touching. He pressed a soft kiss against my forehead that lingered for the space of a heartbeat while causing my heart to beat wildly in my chest. This was my favorite moment of his good bye. The moment that was sweet and tender. The moment that was mine alone that she could never have, but the kiss was fleeting and all too soon he stepped away from me. I watched him like I always did as he walked towards the door with a confident and relaxed gait. He was pleased with himself. I had pleased him and that made my heart happy like nothing else since I knew there was no way she couldn't please him like I did.

"Thanks doll," he said as he paused long enough to call out over his shoulder with grin and a wink as he left me standing in his wake without another look back.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Special thanks to Cejsmom for beta'ing this hot mess. Any missed words or mistakes are mine that I missed with her corrections. A nother warm hug of thanks goes to Beegurl13 for her words of encouragement and prereading this a million years ago… I have more to send you Beegurl if you still want to read it.**

**This will most likely be my last cheater Edward fic for a long while, if not forever, since all my other fics that need completing and plot bunnies I have saved are not cheater fics. I do have a Bella story that will include cheating, but not Edward.**

**As I warned at the stop this plot is sex driven. It's how they connect. If this bothers you now is the time to bow out gracefully. As always I do not promise anything since why would read anything I write if I promised what the ending would be? This will be a short fic maybe 14 chapter if that. I will plan on updating once a week, but as you know that is subject to change so it could more or less depending on RL.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I slowly pulled on my clothes, not bothering to clean up since I had planned on just taking a hot bath to ease my sore muscles once I got back to my apartment. It was routine for me now. This was routine for me. This wasn't the first night I spent with my back on the hard wood desk of my supervisor or on his leather couch that now smelled like us. This was far from the first time and I was far from that shy, somewhat innocent girl that I used to be before Edward Cullen came into my life.

I organized the fallen sheets of paper, glancing over them as I did with a smile. I wondered if he noticed that on his next speaking engagement I had booked the same hotel, the same room where it all began for us. I wondered if he noticed and if he did what would he say? Would he be mad and remind me that our time together was not based on romance or would he remember that it's been a year since he first claimed me as his while forever ruining me for other men with his love? Edward had once told me that romance was for others and what we had was more than that, yet I still felt the zing of romance and love when I thought of him, but then again I always had.

Edward Cullen came into my life like the shining star he was born to be. I remember the first time I ever saw him. I was seventeen and it was Christmas. My family decided to make the trip to spend it with family, which was rare for us since typically we spent it alone. It was there that I met him and my life forever changed.

He was my cousin's boyfriend. My perfect cousin whom I hated because she was the golden child of the family with her beauty, grace and good grades. Edward was her boyfriend and even though he was older than me by six years I knew that he had noticed me just by how he said hello. He was beautiful with his wild red hair that practically stood up on end and his bright green eyes that shined like a Christmas light on the tree. He was kind and funny. He was smart and beautiful. He was everything that I had ever wished for in a boy, yet he was a man and that made him all the more exotic to a young girl like me since he was twenty three.

I will never forget how he spoke to me and smiled. I knew it was meaningless to him as he asked me about my high school, but to me it was everything and I was instantly taken by him since no other boy had shined like that around me ever. It was also then that I hated my cousin more than ever since it proved that she had everything. She had money. She had friends. She had looks, but worst of all was that she had him and I hated her for it.

Looking back on that Christmas I should have been thankful for her and her constant, yet condescending, kindness since without it Edward would not be in my life. It was her that arranged for my job as his assistant. It was her insisting that I attend his speaking engagement in her place that started our love affair. It was her that could not keep him satisfied while I gave him every bit of me that he demanded and more. It was her that was going to lose him if I had any say in how our time together would end. It was her that was going to watch me walk away with everything while she was left with nothing just like I had been once.

I placed the papers back on his desk and slowly walked towards the door, feeling the ache inside of me that he caused with his vigorous thrusts. It was this ache that I loved since it was the only proof I had he had been with me, yet it was all the proof I needed. I walked out of his office and stepped towards my desk just on the other side of the door. I grabbed my purse and jacket to leave behind this world of secrets and lies where I was just his assistant and not the woman who loved him more than the pathetic life that I lived.

I made it back to my small apartment that was too close to work, yet not close enough on most nights to have Edward agree to just come here for our time together. He would tell me how he had to make sure he was in the office just in case someone saw him leave. He wanted to make sure his wife never doubted him, never suspected that he would ever be with another. I knew it was all to protect him, yet sometimes it still hurt. I wanted to see him draped across my blue sofa. I wanted to have him in my bed. I wanted him to take me on the kitchen table that my father loving built for me. I wanted him everywhere, but I knew that he couldn't risk it. I knew our love had to be a secret until the time was right then I would tell her. I would tell her how her Edward loved me with a passion that would set the world on fire. She would leave him and I knew this. I would be thrilled, but he would be devastated. She would take his daughter away from him and his daughter was his world. It was only this fear of him losing his child that stopped me from telling her that her man was now mine. I couldn't do that him. I loved him too much.

I kicked off my shoes and slowly stripped as I made my way back to the bathroom to draw my bath, but not before I grabbed a glass of wine to take with me before doubling back to grab the bottle as well. It was on nights like these that I hated that the man I loved had another life without me. It left me cold and lonely as I thought about how he must greet his wife with a relaxed grin that came from being with me before kissing her with the same lips that had been on my body. I would wonder if she ever thought about him being with another woman. I would be left thinking about if she ever doubted him, if she ever saw me as a threat, a rival for his love. Did she ever think about all the time I spent with him? Did she ever wonder why I went with him on his travels or why I knew him so well? Did she ever think about me as anything other than the poor little country mouse cousin of hers that she helped get established in the big city? Did she ever think that I would repay her generosity by fucking her husband?

It was those thoughts and others that kept my mind racing as I sunk into steamy water that was scented with the flowery oil that Edward had bought me for my birthday. I would spend my evening drinking and thinking about Edward like I always did until the wine was too warm and the water was too cold.

Part of me wanted to regret this affair with him. Part of me knew that it was wrong. It was wrong to have sex with my cousin's husband. It was wrong to have sex with a married man. I knew this. I was raised better. I knew that he was married, that he had child and a life with another woman. I knew all of this, yet I couldn't say no to him. I couldn't deny him. I couldn't deny myself.

I needed him like the air I breathed. I needed his touch to make me feel alive. I needed his kisses to know that I was loved. I needed his rough touches and hard thrusts. I needed all of him and even though I only got a small portion of him, the only portion he allowed me to have, I knew that my life was better with the tiniest fraction of him than without him at all.

The night passed with slow hours as I counted down until I could see him again. I would close my eyes and lie under the cool sheets of my bed, but no matter how much I chased sleep all I could think about was him.

Edward.

Edward at home with her. Edward eating the dinner she so lovingly prepared. Edward tucking his daughter into before slipping back to the bedroom where she would be waiting for him. Did he touch her like he touched me? Did she scream for him? Did he make her cum so hard that it robbed her of her breath like he did me? Did she cling to him, begging him to never let her go like what I did when I had him that close? Did she kiss his skin and whisper her wordless thanks for being with her when he came with a groan inside of her? Did she even know that there was another waiting to take her place, wanting to be her in the worst of ways while knowing that I could love him better than what she ever could? Did she know this? These questions swirled through my mind on repeat as I tried to block them out and only focus on Edward.

_When you're lonely think of me, doll._

This was what Edward said to me all the time. He would tell me to think of him. To think of him fucking me, filling me and claiming me as his like only he could.

_So innocent. I love teaching you how to please me, baby doll._

Edward would whisper this to me as he taught me how to touch him, to love him, to suck his cock just the way he wanted it.

_Such an eager student. Good students are always rewarded._

Edward would tease me with these words as I learned to take his cock deep down my throat while overcoming my gag reflex until he was able to go deep without my constant gagging on him. It was an accomplishment since when we started our love affair I was too innocent. I was too naïve. I was too new to love and sex so Edward had to teach me how to be, how to touch him, how to love him properly. While I was embarrassed by my lack of experience since I had only one lover before him, and Jacob was just as new at love as what I was, so it wasn't like he taught me anything outside of the mechanics of sex. Edward, the on the other hand, was worldly in what he knew when it came to pleasure and generous in how he taught me to please him.

I had barely drifted off to sleep when my phone chimed, announcing an incoming text. I fumbled in the dark to look at my phone to see who would text me so late at night, but the tremble in my hand and the wild beating of my heart knew who was contacting me. There was only one person who contacted me at midnight. There was only one person who ever called me on my cell phone since only one person had the phone number. It was Edward. It was always Edward since he was the one who established the account for me as well as paid my bill.

My eyes adjusted to the bright screen in the pitch black of my bedroom to see what message he would send to me while my heart beat out of rhythm for him.

_Good night doll._

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! A special thanks goes out to Cejsmom for looking over this hot mess and fixing my mistakes. A big warm squishy hug of thanks goes to Beegurl13 for reading, encouraging, correcting and just being the amazing person she is. You HAVE to read her new fic Constant Bearing, Decreasing Range. It updates daily and it is AMAZING! She's one of my all time favorite writers out there and for good reason since the girl can bring it. **

**Until next Wednesday friends.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra **

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The work day monotony left me feeling anxious as I waited for a glimpse of the man I loved. He was here, but in meetings all day. I hated those days since there was no time to play, no time to be spread out over his desk with my skirt pushed over my hips while my panties dangled from one ankle as he fucked me slowly during our so called lunch our meeting. No time for anything except his barking for me to follow him into his office where he pushed the door shut before pushing me to my knees.

He was angry today and when he was angry he wanted me on my knees before him. He wanted me rough with his hands in my hair pulling it until I felt the bitter pleasure of the sting that came with his rough touch as he worked his cock deep into my throat

"_Such a good little doll," he would grunt as I took as much as of his cock in my mouth as I could. He was long and thick so sucking him like this was always somewhat of a challenge no matter how well I tried to control my gag reflex._

_ I felt his fingers in my hair pulling apart the simple bun I wore day in and out to work that matched my simple dress. He always tore me apart. He wanted be bare and raw before him. His hands tugged hard, directing my head, forcing him deeper down my throat as he groaned loudly._

_ "That's it baby doll, take it all in," he moaned as he watched me struggle to take him deeper as I fought off gagging with each deep thrust into my mouth he made. His hands tangled in my hair, pulling it as he held me for his pleasure._

_ His murmurings grew louder as I listened to him call me his baby, his doll, his sweet little whore. I had always hated the word whore. I had thought it was demeaning and cruel, but hearing his soft mutterings to me made me wonder if I had been wrong. The way he said it made it sound cherished and as if I was loved by him. There was nothing horrible about the word whore as it fell from his lips for me. I wanted to be his sweet, little whore. I wanted it more than anything and right or wrong that's what I was._

_ I lavished his cock with mu cock in-between his thrusting until he gripped my head in a tight, vice lock like grip, holding me still as he did._

_ "Swallow," he grunted at me causing me to look up at him. I met his green eyes that blazed with lust and the residual effects of anger just as his body arched into mine, forcing his cock deeper down my throat. I pulled back in reaction as I felt the first jerking of his cock as he started to cum, filling my mouth and forcing me to swallow with each thick spurt he gave me. _

_ I listened to low muttering and cussing as he came with his head thrown back hard into the door behind him in ecstasy. He was beautiful like that, lost to the world of pleasure. So stunning, so feral, so fucking perfect that it made the ache in my lower belly intensify with my need for him._

_ I swallowed as much as he would give me until finally he collapsed against the door, body shaking and eyes closed. I sucked gently on his still hard cock, licking him softly until he groaned a tired moan before pulling his wet cock out of my mouth._

_ "I won't be back until after four please make sure that the memo to my mother's charity get out on time," he said in a detached tone that he used often after sex like this. I watched as he tucked himself back into his pants, adjusted his shirt and tie as he brushed a careful hand over his suit jacket. He left me on my knees in his office to rush off to another meeting._

As the clock neared four I watched for him. I watched for Edward as I attempted to finish off the projects that were on my to do list. I kept a careful eye for him until finally I saw him in the distance. I could see his hair ruffled on end and a tired look in his eyes as he approached while surrounded by some lackeys from accounting. I waited hoping to catch his eye and finally I did. I watched as his face brighten, the tiredness melted away and a wide grin filled out his handsome face that had been pinched with irritation.

His grin turned into a loud laugh as he jogged towards me, causing me to stand up to greet him. It was an unorthodox greeting for us, yet somehow it was just right. People knew we were close. I was his assistant. I was family. I was his wife's cousin so there would be no harm in greeting each other warmly. My heart was beating out of my chest as I stepped closer to him in anticipation, but was practically knocked over by a small child as she shoved me out of the way from behind while screaming for him.

"Daddy!" the two year old screamed as she pushed me out of the way in the process of running to the man I loved.

"My Claire!" Edward exclaimed with a laugh as he jogged to reach the little girl with a grin that made him look too handsome for words. I watched as he bent down and scooped the little red haired girl who clung to him like a little vine.

"I missed you my little Clair-bear," Edward whispered to her before pressing a soft kiss against her plump check as she looked at him with her big green eyes. She looked like her father. She was beautiful.

"There's my baby," I heard him growl in a low tone that I knew well enough dripped with sex. I felt my face heat up with a blush over his words just in time for him to walk past me without any consideration and right into the arms of his wife.

I watched with a sick heart and stomach as he held her close in a loving embrace. They looked perfect together. Mrs. Cullen was equal with her stunning beauty; a beauty that I had somehow missed in our shared gene pool. They were perfect together and just seeing them like this wrapped up so tightly caused others in the office to stop and stare at the perfectness that they exuded.

"How are you? Do you feel ok?" I heard his sweet murmurings to her as he peppered her face with kisses as held his daughter in-between them. It was sickening to listen to their cooing at each other as she whispered she needed him. I listened to his kisses and whispered love as she giggled like a school girl for him. I hated her.

"Edward, stop it. People are watching," she said in a teasing tone as he kissed along her neck.

"I don't care, baby. You are so stunning like this," he whispered as he cupped her ass suggestively while pulling her against him as I fought back the bile that was threatening to rise in my throat. I could hear his low whispering again before he finally turned to me with a cold look in his eyes.

"Did you email the memo like I instructed you to?" he asked me while still holding his family to him. It was cold. It was firm. It was a reminder of when they were with him I was no one once more. It made me hate her. It made me hate her even more than what I had before.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen," I replied with a professional nod of my head as I addressed him properly while letting one of the curls that he had tugged free with his rough hands dangle along my face out of place from the ultra conservative bun that I wore during work hours. I watched his eyes shimmer like ice as I placed the distance between us that he demanded in the work place in front of others, especially his bitch of a wife.

It was that ice in him that I hated since I wanted him to remember me. I wanted him to remember me on my knees for him, but his cold eyes told me those memories were gone the moment she appeared.

"Oh, Tinkerbelle! Forgive me for being so rude," she said with a warm giggle that made my blood boil as she addressed me by the family nickname. Oh, how I hated that damn name since it had followed me since the age of four and I was far from a child now at the ripe age of twenty four.

"I would prefer if you addressed me by my proper name here, Mrs. Cullen," I corrected her with a harsh tone that was icy cold enough to make her flinch. She needed to be put in her place. She needed to be reminded that I wasn't Tinkerbelle here at work. Here I was powerful. Here I was needed. Here I wasn't the lost little girl who looked up to her. Here I was a goddess whose only desire was to make her husband moan with pleasure.

"You will watch your mouth if you value your position here within Cullen Enterprises," Edward hissed in anger at me. His eyes were pitch black and told of punishments yet to come from him over my extreme disobedience. Mrs. Cullen's face went white then red as she placed a gentle hand upon his chest right over his heart while murmuring that I was right. This was a place of business and family terms of endearment had no place. I found a snotty smirk forming on my face as she appeased him while agreeing that I was right. Of course I was right.

"She knows her place and her place is not to question me or mine. She will not treat my wife in such a disrespectful manner, right doll?" he asked me in a voice so cold that I felt the chill from his words as he continued to speak before flashing me a his ice cold gaze so full of malice that it hurt to look at him.

"If she cannot control her attitude then she will find herself in the unemployment office since there are many more than willing and more than qualified to take her place," Edward said in the ice cold tone that froze my blood in my veins. He would replace me. There were others that would take my place. I would lose him and I couldn't lose him. I loved him even if that meant that I was forced to treat his wife better than she deserved.

"Do I make myself clear?" he asked me with his pitch black eyes and evil smile that dared me to test him. There would be no testing him. There was too much to lose and that loss would be him.

"Yes, of course sir," I said as it held his dark gaze. I watched his eyes flicker as I called him sir. I knew he loved it when I called him sir. I knew it drove him crazy when I called him sir.

"Come on, Edward," she cooed at him, trying to calm him while he remained staring at me with a mixed look of want and rage. I could see it even if she didn't want to. With one last murmuring of needing him he handed Claire off to me while barking orders as to what Claire was able to do before pulling his wife into his office with him while she continued to coo in his ear to calm him.

"Come on, let's see what I have for you to play with," I said to Claire who cheered happily for me as I took hold of her chubby hand in mine and lead her to my desk. I had learned a while ago to keep a stash of toys and snacks in my drawer for Claire just for times like this when she demanded his attention.

I played and feed Claire gold fish crackers while Edward and Mrs. Cullen locked themselves in his office doing who knows what as I was being paid more than what I should have been to watch a two a year old girl. I tried not to think about her whispering in his ear or soothing him since I wanted to be the one to soothe him. I wanted to be the one he needed and I was for the most part except for when she was here.

After an hour of entertaining Claire, Mrs. Cullen appeared, red faced and giggling. Her hair was a mess and her dress was far from pristine looking as it had been when she entered his office on Edward's arm. Instead, it had wrinkles as if it had been on the floor. Just seeing it made me sick since I knew. I just knew he had been with her. The office was our place. My place. My place to love her husband, to show him that there was someone better, smarter, sexier, more willing to satisfy him than the woman who wore his ring and bore his over privileged children.

I watched as Edward followed behind her with his hands firmly on her, holding her to him while whispering lovingly in her ear. I watched them with envy since he was never so loving, never so flirty with me. Just witnessing this act of intimacy between them made me feel small and furious. I was his. I was his and I wanted him to mine alone.

"Thanks Tink," she said with a wide smile as she looked at the now sleeping Claire who was draped across my shoulder sleeping peacefully.

"My pleasure," I said firmly while hiding the bitterness in my tone like I always did whenever I had to address her just as Edward pulled his child out of my arms before tucking the sleeping child against his chest while his wife watched with wide loving eyes. It was clear she loved watching him with his daughter and why wouldn't she? He was a beautiful man, but watching him with Claire only made him appear more angelic.

"I am going home for the night. It appears my wife is in need of special attention," he said with a cheeky grin to his wife as he half hid the quick grope of her ass from everyone except me. I saw it. I saw it clearly. He wanted me to see it. I knew he did since Edward never did anything without a reason. He wanted me to know that he had loved her, fucked her, and took her in one place that was ours. I hated the thought of him with her. I hated it and blocked it out as much as I could since there was no way she pleased him the way I did. There was no way since no matter what she did he always came back to me.

"There is a bit of mess in there and I need for you to straighten it before you go home. I will be out of the office for a week since my pretty wife demands my attention," he said to me in soft alluring manner, but looked at his wife with a suggestive smile as she blushed prettily for him. It was sick. Only the owner's son who was the company's golden boy every get away with such unannounced absences.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen," I said softly as I looked into the office they had just left. I could see the papers on the floor, most likely knocked over as he made love her in the same spot where he would make love to me. I turned back to face him as he looked at me with a cold look that I knew too well. This was my punishment. I was forced to know and bear witness to the desecration of what was ours. He had fucked in there to prove a point; a point that he was not mine and she would come first even in my most sacred place.

"Do you understand me?" he asked me in a clipped tone that stung as if he had slapped me. I knew what he was asking without him ever saying the words. He was asking if I understood my place in his life and I did. I understood completely, but that did not stop me from hating it; from wanting to change it, from dreaming of being his first choice. I nodded in agreement wordlessly and then watched him turn to leave me once more without a look back as he left hand in hand with the woman I was born to hate.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! A warm hug of thanks goes out to Beegurl13 for her great prereading, handholding, encouraging as well as grammer fixing skills. She is amazing folks and if you aren't reading everything she writes then you are missing out… Seriously… pick anything she has written and I promise you will love it.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A week was a long time without him. I missed his laughter. I missed his scent. I missed his tongue and cock. The office was empty without him and I was forced to evaluate the situation I was in concerning my employer who had become my lover.

I loved Edward. He was the perfect man. He was all grace and style. He was stunningly handsome. He was a fantastic lover who left me weak from all the pleasure he gave me. He was also unavailable to the point where it hurt me, but it hurt so good.

As I closed up the shop on the last work day he would be with her I looked over his office one last time. I placed the documents he needed to see on his desk in an orderly manner from most important to least. I made arrangement for fresh flowers to be waiting for him as he came back to me along with his favorite scones. I was ready for him. I missed him and I wanted him to know how badly I had missed him with these small touches that were meant to bring him happiness. They were meant to show him how I had missed him and I had. With one last sweeping look around I left his office and closed the doors behind me knowing that Monday would bring him back to me.

I closed out of my office computer and walked the lonely stretch to the elevator to leave this place behind. I reminded myself that night week he would be back. My Edward would be back and that thought would hold me over the lonely weekend of sitting at home waiting for the minutes to pass until I was with him again.

I was lost in my fantasy of Monday morning meetings that consisted of me naked and spread across Edward's mahogany desk while he filled me to the point of pain with his large cock when I felt a large hand grasp my shoulder stopping me in my tracks just as my car came into sight. I had no time to scream as I was dragged back into a dark corner of the parking garage while I struggled against the unknown attacker, but he more I struggled the harder he held me.

"Shh, doll, it's just me," I heard his soft whisper against my ear causing my entire body to melt against his as all the fear drained out of me in a whoosh. Edward. He was here; he was here for me.

His strong arms spun me around to face him and as he did I could not stop the happy smile that formed on my face as my hands came up to embrace him.

"There's my doll," he whispered with a teasing tone as his hand gripped my hips tightly, pulling me against him while my arms came up and wrapped around his neck to pull him down into a warm kiss that took him off guard before he broke it.

Edward growled in displeasure while I licked his taste from my lips as he pulled away from my kiss with a scowl. He looked at me with eyes that were warm and lusty. I knew his rules, our rules as he liked to call them. There were only three; no kisses, no telling and no one else. Edward would not let me kiss him and very rarely did he ever kiss me. There were times, but he reserved them for something special since he felt they were too personal, as if he being inside me was not personal. I hated that rule, but I loved him so if that'd what he needed to feel ok about being with me then I would deal with it. The no telling part, while hard since I wanted everyone to know that I was with this gorgeous, intelligent man, he was not ready to lose his family or position within his family's business as the golden boy everyone thought he was. I could live with the no telling for now since I knew there would come a day when everyone would know since you can't hide a love like ours forever. The final rule of no one else for me was his doing alone. He didn't want to share me. It was just that simple and while I wanted to protest this rule since h had her as well I could never tell him no.

"Come" he whispered to me with a hint of a grin in his voice as he pulled me towards my car. It was a soft tug towards him, but I could feel the urgency in his touch. It was that urgency that made me smile since it was a wordless reminder that he had missed me in our week apart.

"My car?" I questioned as he pushed me towards the beat up red Camry that I drove. The very same car that Edward constantly referred to as an epic piece of shit all because it wasn't up to his blue blood standards.

"Yes," he responded with a firm nod as he held his hand out, waiting for my keys impatiently as I struggled to fish them out of my purse while he dragged me towards my car. It took a few seconds before I got a firm grasp on my keys while Edward pulled me behind him, scuffing my heels on the cement floor beneath us. I tried to pick up my feet since I didn't have the money to replace them if they were wrecked.

"I will buy you new ones," he said with an irritated sigh as if he knew what I was thinking just as we reached my car. He unlocked my car and opened the passenger side door before shoving me inside. His hard touch left me breathless and heated as I knew there would be nothing gentle about his loving tonight.

"Directions," he ordered as he got in the car without looking at me. He started the car and looked at me with an expectant look as it dawned on me that Edward had never been to my house. He had never seen my world outside of what I presented to him Monday through Friday at the office. He had never seen that side of me and I was more than happy to show him that I was more than ready to welcome him into my life. I wanted him there. I needed him there. I wanted him to see that my world was a wonderful place to be, a better place to be than anything his wife could offer him.

I rattled off my address as he pulled out of the parking garage without another word to me, but truly there was no need for words. We had each other and we always spoke more with our bodies than what any words could ever convey. I studied Edward's profile as he looked straight ahead, not looking at me while he muttered over what a piece of shit my car was. His slight temper tantrum made me smile since my golden boy didn't know how the other half lived with cars that needed repairs and a life that was not touched by the gods.

I felt his hand reach over and grasp mine as my heart leaped in my chest over his touch as he directed my hand before placing it upon his hard cock as it strained against his jeans. He was ready, more than ready and I was more than ready for him just by feeling him like this. I stroked along the hard line of his cock, rubbing at him until I could not stand it anymore as I reached for his zipper to free his cock.

"Not yet," he murmured as he shoved my hand back towards his straining cock.

"But I want to taste you," I whispered to him as I licked my lips almost involuntary as I thought about his velvety skin against my tongue mixed with the salty tang of his precum on my tongue.

"You will, doll, you will," he cooed at me with a grin that had a wicked glint to it. It was that wickedness that had brought him to me. It was the same wickedness that led him to me that first night that he had me. We were on a business trip. A trip that his wife insisted that I go along with him on in order to help ease his stress. I am sure when she sent me along she had no idea how well I would ease his stress.

I looked over at this man who owned my heart with a soft grin as I caressed his cock slowly, teasingly as I thought about that first night, that first time that we had ever been together. It was a night I would never forget since how could I ever forget the first time Edward ever touched me? There was no way I would ever forget that night since it changed my life.

That night Edward had completed a wonderful presentation where he was able to raise money for the Fatherhood Initiative, which was a nonprofit organization that Edward founded trying to encourage men to be the fathers their children needed as well as working with children that needed a male role model in their life. It was a wonderful cause and Edward was just the man to lead such a worthy program since he was well known as a wonderful father. It was that night after being awarded a large amount of money that the Cullen Corporation would match for the cause we found ourselves in the hotel bar. Edward insisted that we needed to celebrate and I could never say no to Edward.

We drank happily as Edward talked on in a giddy manner over all the good he could do, all the children her could reach, all the men who might be able to see the advantages of being a father figure instead of walking away from a family that needed them. It was listening to his passionate speech that my heart beat out of my chest for him. His passion, his conviction over this cause was breathtaking and the more we drank the more I felt for him. His passion caused a deep stirring inside of me; it was as if his words sparked a flame, a flame that made me hunger for his touch. I found myself wanting to touch him as he spoke. I found myself fighting the urge to run my hand through his hair or along his arm. I found myself wanting him and while I had always wanted him, this was different. This was animalistic. This was strong. This was consuming.

That night he walked me to my room like a gentleman. He reminded me that if I needed him there was the door that connected our rooms and then he left without a look back. It was that look back that infuriated me. It left me burning with rage and when rage is consumed with alcohol it is like an explosion with in you.

I remember lying on that hotel bed thinking of how unfair my life was; unfair that my cousin got everything. She got the looks, the man, the child, everything I wanted and I was left with nothing in return but the opportunity to long for her life. I wanted Edward Cullen and he needed to know this. He needed to know that I would walk through fire for him. I would die for him. I would do it all for him and his wife could never show him that level of devotion.

I remember standing up on unsteady legs from too much champagne to cross the room to reach that narrow door that separated his room from mine. I needed him to see me, to know me since if he did I knew there would be no way he would refuse me. I opened the door to the room only to find it pitch black, but I knew he was in there. I could hear his breathing hitch as I walked in.

I remember how he called my name out in surprise as he turned on the light by his bed side. He was gorgeous as he laid there shirtless with a sheet around his waist covering himself from me. His hair stood on end and his eyes were confused as I stood before him, brave from the alcohol I had ingested in and wanton from years of sexual frustration over the man before me.

I knew this was it. It was now or never when it came to Edward and this would be my moment to shine. I remember how I stood there with his eyes upon me watching me, waiting, almost anticipating my next move as I took a deep breath before I pulled the baggy t-shirt I was wearing over my head and tossing it on the floor with a defiant toss. I stood before him, naked and hungry, daring him to make a move, to take me, to make me his like I had always dreamed.

I remember how silent the room was as I stood there, awaiting his decision while longing for his approval. I remember how heavy the air was and how still he was as he looked at me with his green eyes wide from the shock of my bold behavior.

This was not the girl he was used to. This was not the girl who stuttered and stammered a response while blushing. This was not the shy girl he had known for years. This was me; the me I knew he would want. I could be as bold and wild as her. I could stand before him exposed and proud. I could be everything his wife could be only better.

The minutes passed and as they did I felt the hot blooded courage of the alcohol ebb away and in its place cold rejection filled me. I closed my eyes for a moment as I swallowed back a sob before slowly turning to leave him alone so I could lick my wounded pride alone. I remember my steps faltering as I approached the door that separated my room from him. I remember thinking of how there was always something separating us, a door, a life, a decision when I felt his warm hands close around my upper arms before feeling his hot skin pressed against mine, pinning me against the cold steel of the door with a grunt. His hands moved with urgency, skimming along my skin as his body was pressed flush against mine. I could feel the heat of his breath as it fanned out over my shoulder and face as he held me there, as if I would move away from him since was what I had always wanted.

I remember how he spoke no words, but instead looked at me in the darkness with a look that was so raging hot that it melted away any doubts of my coming to him like a thief in the night. Instead, my doubts were replaced with the hard glare of lust. It was a lust that was consuming. It was a lust that filled the room making it impossible to breathe as we faced each other, skin to skin in the dark.

That was all I clearly remembered of our first night since the rest was a collage of skin and sensation as he dragged me to the bed, not caring that my feet were tangled as I tripped over them before being tossed upon the fluffy softness that smelled like the man I dreamed off. I remember his hands roughly touching, pulling tugging at my breasts before parting my legs with a rough jerk. I remember how coarse his fingers felt as he rubbed them along my over excited pussy while groaning over the wetness he found there. I remembered how he pushed them deep inside of me, twisting them, pumping them in and out of me, for a moment of time, bringing closer to the edge of heaven before abruptly pulling them out as if he didn't care if I came or not. I wanted to protest, but there was no time to protest before I felt the nudging of the head of his cock. I barely had time to breathe or even make a sound before I felt him pushing his hard cock inside of me with a low rumble of a groan as the tip of cock started to fill me.

I remember how that night I had never had a chance to see Edward's cock, but it didn't matter since I felt it. I felt it thick and strong, stretching me to the point of being painful as he pushed inside of me without pausing, without stopping to let me breathe. It was almost like being a virgin all over again as his body forced mine to accept him without another thought and as much as it stung to feel him like this it was a pain that made me moan while gasping from the hurt he caused me.

The moment he was inside of me there was stopping, there was no looking back, there was no right or wrong there was only his cock and the blinding sensations that he brought to me. He was hard and demanding as he fucked me without mercy. He moaned the praises of my tight pussy as he slammed deep inside of me over and over again while I watched his face contort with pleasure as he filled to the point of painful. I remember the way he pulled my legs above my head and fucked me with a wild abandon that I had never experienced. I left me breathless and when he finally came with a loud groan of strangled pleasure he collapsed on me, pinning me to the bed with his heavy weight as I gasped beneath him from the pleasure-pain he gave me.

The remainder of the night was filled with cock inside of me fucking in positions that I had no idea existed before him. It was all Edward with his cock so deep in me that it hurt, yet I wanted that hurt since it was all I had of him. It was Edward with his hands gripping too hard and fucking me too fast as I cried out for him. It was all Edward claiming me as his over and over again until there was nothing left of me to give. He fucked and filled until I was a tangled heap of skin on the bed, struggling to breathe while he continued to drive his ever hard cock inside of me to while the wet, sloppy sounds of all the times he had finished inside of me filled the room and as it trickled down my leg in a sticky pattern, escaping from inside of me with the force of his lovemaking. It was brutal and perfect. It wasn't what I thought it would be to be with him. It was consuming and in the morning I awoke alone to bruises, bite marks and a powerful soreness between my legs that was a reminder that he had been there even though he had left me to go back home to her before I had awakened.

"Remember our first night?" I asked him, filling the silence of the car with my reminiscing of the start of our love affair as I stroking his cock lovingly, enjoying the flex of his hips with each pass my hand made. I watched him frown for a moment before looking over at me with a guarded look. It was that look that I hated since I knew I wasn't on his mind in that moment. I knew he was elsewhere than where he should be and that was with me.

"Remember the hotel and how you made me yours," I said as I dipped my hand inside the waist band of his pants to run my fingers over the head of his cock as it struggled to escape from its confines. I could feel the wetness of his precum seeping out as I rubbed my thumb of the tip, collecting the moisture on my finger tips before bringing them to my mouth to lick it off just to taste him.

Edward watched me lick off the essence of him with dark eyes and a hard hip thrust that made me smile since it meant everything to me to know that I affected him as badly as what he affected me. I wanted that. I wanted to affect him. I wanted him to be consumed by me. I wanted him to need me like I needed him. I wanted him to crave my skin the way I craved him. It was maddening and I wanted him consumed by the madness that claimed me.

"I remember a nervous little baby doll who came into my room wanting my cock," he said in a gruff voice as I rubbed the tip of his cock again as his hips flexed into my touch.

"You didn't know what you were getting your sweet little self into that night did you, doll?' he teased with a heavy groan as I licked his wetness off my fingers once more with a moan as I savored his taste. It had been too long since I had tasted him.

He was right. I did have no idea what I was getting myself into that night I decided to change fate and take a chance for his love. I had no idea and looking back as he unzipped his pants, finally agreeing to let me suck his cock, to taste him against my tongue before he took me to my apartment for the fucking he promised me, I could only think of how that night was truly the turning point in my life.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry I missed the updates for the last 3 weeks. I hope to catch up with at least 2 of them this week. Sorry about the mistake on this one since I bypassed my amazing beta Cejsmom as well as my most talented prereader Beegurl13 to get this posting to you. Please forgive?**

**Ok… if you want to come find me to discuss fic or just complain to me about this story I can be found on facebook as Mamasutra Hornball. I hang out a lot on my story page which is called Mamasutra Moments so come join us there to talk fic and not just my fic : ) I'm on twitter as well as mamasutra73.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I watched as Edward led the way to my meager apartment. It was surreal to watch him as he checked the door number before unlocking the door with an urgency that made the tingling in my lower belly increase.

_He was here._

_ He was really here._

I watched as he stepped inside before he turned back to drag me in beside him. I wanted to savor this moment. I wanted to live it for a while longer, that moment of him being a part of my world, my real world after work hours from Cullen Enterprises, but Edward would have none of that. He was a man on a mission and that mission was pleasure.

His strong hands dragged me up against him before walking me backwards until I was pressed between the cool plaster wall and his warm, muscular frame. It was heaven and hell. It was something out of my dreams and I could not stop the sigh that escaped my lips as he held me there.

"I need to see you, doll," he murmured as his hands trailed over my body, tracing my curves as they were covered by the confines of clothing that I wore to work.

"I need to see your skin all pink and perfect for me, doll," he whispered in a gravelly tone that made my pussy tingle with anticipation as I struggled to hold him against me.

"Show me your perfect little tits, baby," he whispered as his hands traced over my breasts, stopping only to tweak my nipples as they strained against the silk blouse that I wore before his fingers worked to rid me of the offending fabric until I was topless with only my lacy bra covering what he needed to see. I smiled as he gasped then growled lowly as I pushed him off me long enough to reach behind me to unzip the knee length skirt that was the picture of propriety at the office. Once it was unzipped I shimmied my hips until the fabric fell in a puddle around my feet so that I was le standing before him clad in lacy bra, matching barely there panties and thigh high stockings with my heels. I smiled as I listened to his low intake of air as if he was gasping with want for me. I wanted this. I wanted him to gasp for me. I wanted him to ache for me. I wanted him to feel the need for me in his blood like how I felt for him.

"What is this?" he asked in a sharp tone that surprised me as I stood before him unsure of what he meant.

"What is this fucking outfit?" he asked me in a hard tone that hinted at his rage as I stood there dumbfounded.

"You…You bought this for me," I stammered as I felt the low sick twisting of embarrassment as I looked down at my body for something being out of place or an offending mark, but there was nothing out of sorts that I could see.

"I fucking know that doll, but I am asking you why you are wearing it?" he asked in an ice cold tone that caused the desire in my vein to chill dramatically.

"I thought…" I stammered as I tried to find a reason to give while he looked at me with a wicked look to his handsome face that made him look more like a devil than the angel I knew him to be.

"You are no paid to think so why don't you try again," he hissed in anger at me as I gawked at him in surprise. He had been cross with me in the past. He had been clipped in his tone, but he had never been like this before and it shocked me.

"It makes me feel close to you," I replied as I felt the sting of tears in my eyes as he looked at me with such a look that made me feel as if I was nothing more than a child and a petulant one at that.

"I am sure," he murmured coldly with a hollow laugh as he reached up to trace a single finger along my arm in a teasing manner, but there was nothing light or teasing about his expression. He was mad. He was furious.

"Who is it?" he asked me in a low tone, an almost soothing tone as his eyes looked into mine hypnotically.

"Who is what?" I asked him confused as I leaned into his soft touch while praying that the man of fire and sex would return to me; replace this man with the ice cold heart and accusations.

"Who is the man you are fucking behind my back?" he asked me softly as I stared at him dumbfounded by his question.

"There is no one but you," I replied sounding more desperate and childlike than what I would have liked in this moment.

"Is it that asshole Marcus from accounting?" he asked me with soft look, but I could see the anger in his eyes. It was a rage that was slowly scaring me. I shook my head no, but he continued on as if I made no response.

"He looks at you as if he knows what you taste like," he whispered to me as he traced a pattern along my arm slowly, making me shudder with his light touch.

"No," I whispered hoarsely as I looked into his eyes, willing him to believe me as I stood before him.

"There is no one except you," I repeated softly just as his fingers reached my bra straps to hook them in his grasp. His eyes held mine with a smile that was more of an angry grimace than the smile I was used to.

"You would want me to believe that wouldn't you?" he asked me in a taunting manner before jerking down the straps with an abrupt motion that caused me to gasp as he yanked the straps down, pulling the cups down to free my heavy breast from the lace that held them.

"It's the truth. There is no one but you," I said in a strangled tone as his hand cupped my tits, weighing them heavy in his hands as his thumb rubbed over my overly sensitive nipples as I trembled before him.

"You believe me, don't you Edward?" I asked him as I watched as his eyes followed his touch, pinching my nipples as I swallowed back moans of pleasure from his rough touch.

My words caused his eyes to look up to meet mine. They were dark like a stormy sea as he held my gaze. I could see the rage still there, but there was something more. It was more than just rage and just looking at him like that made my blood run cold and hot all at once while my pussy ached for his touch.

"I do believe you, my sweet baby doll," he cooed at me whisper that washed over me like warm honey.

"I believe you because I know you would never, ever want to disappoint me, would you?" he asked me with a smile that was laced with something dark that made me shiver.

"Never," I repeated as I nodded in agreement, hoping that he would understand that it was only him, it would only ever be him.

"Good," he whispered to me with his eyes dark and dangerous as he slipped his fingers along the edge of my panties in a teasing fashion that made me shudder before he slipped his fingers beneath the lace.

"Now, let me remind you how you are mine," he said as his hand dipped further until his fingers were pushing against my flesh seeking entrance to my body in a demanding fashion as I closed my eyes, relishing his touch, while biting back the bitterness of knowing that he wasn't mine in return.

Edward made quick work of stripping me bare so that I was just left in my stocking and shoes, but the remainder of my flesh was promptly on display for him. I loved the fiery look in his eyes as they trailed form my breast to pussy with a hungry look that was mine alone.

"I need to taste you, baby," he said to me with an edge to his voice as if the need was driving him insane as he pushed me back against the wall while sinking down upon his knees in front of me while my heart flutter in my throat with excitement over knowing that I was seconds away from his tongue being inside of me.

My back hit the wall as he pushed me backward while shoving my legs apart for access like the hungry man he was. Edward grabbed my thighs in a tight grip before pulling one leg over his shoulder just as I felt his hot breath against me. It caused me to shudder with excitement as I struggled to remain on my feet just as his fingers parted my flesh to taste the essence of me while I moaned like the wanton whore he always turned me into under his touch.

"Watch me, doll. Watch me," he whispered against my flesh as his eyes met mine with a challenge. He knew that I loved his touch, his tong, but holding eye contact as he kissed me in such an intimate manner left me feeling embarrassed and more exposed to him than what I had ever been. He knew that this sinful move would break me, would claim me, would make me his more than anything else and it was clear that was his mission. Edward was hell bent on reminding me that I belonged to him in both body and soul. He was demanding me that I recognize that there was no escaping him and he would own me forever, not that I cared since that was all I wanted. I wanted to be his and with each pass of his tongue, each suck on my clit causing me to cry, each lavish lick inside of me invisibly marked me as his for all time.

"Edward, Edward, Edward," I called out as I felt my body tightening with each swirl of his expert tongue.

"Who do you belong to doll?" he asked me as he paused for a moment to taunt me before continuing his sweet attack against my eager pussy.

"You," I moaned loudly, earning myself a long lick from entrance to clit with my response.

"Don't ever forget that doll. Don't ever forget that you belong to me. Your pussy belongs to me," he said with a hard edge that I could hear even in the lusty haze that I was lost in before swirling his tongue around my clit in a teasing manner while my legs shook from the strain of trying to remain upright during this overwhelming bliss of his touch. It was wonderful and yet hurtful since never once during this moment would he ever say he was mine in return, but I knew better than believe the act of non caring he portrayed. This man may refuse my claim on him, but I knew it was there otherwise he wouldn't be in my apartment on his knees with his face buried in my pussy, licking, fingering and sucking at me as if my flesh was his last meal.

"I love how you taste," he mumbled against my wet flesh as I moaned in response as his words thrilled me, pushing me towards the blissful release that only Edward could drive me to. Abruptly he stopped while I struggled to breathe through the irritation of missing my climax that was so close I could taste the release and it was too sweet to miss.

"On your knees," he said in a breathless tone as he pulled me down so I was on all fours beside him, still shaking from the pent up release that was lingering.

"I want to fuck you," he said in a ragged tone as I bit back a moan of agreement.

"I want to be so deep inside of your pussy that you will feel me for days," he continued on breathlessly as his hands pulled me, shoving me into the position he wanted, the way he wanted to take me. I felt the heat of his body behind me, causing me to raise my ass up to him, offering him everything that he wanted as pulled legs further apart for better access while unbuttoning his pants to free his cock. I listened with my heart in my throat as his pulled his pants down before feeling his thick, hard cock pressing against my skin as I moaned over the feeling of knowing he was that close to me. I closed my eyes and braced myself since I knew what was next. I knew I was seconds away from being engulfed in Edward. I knew I was seconds away from the burning pinch of his thick cock filling me to the point of being painful, but it was a pain that I craved, needed and longed for.

I felt his hands on my hips steadying me as I held my breath, waiting, but instead of his cock I felt his hand cupping, grasping me as I kneeled before him.

"Never forget this is mine," he said in a raspy voice as I gasped over his words and the sensation of his hands holding me like that as his touch chilled the blood in my veins enough to send a flash of a warning over his words before he loosened his grasp. I barely had time to register what he had said before his cock filled, robbing me of all reasoning ability.

"You are mine, my sweet doll," he said with a loud rasp as he sunk his cock inside of me slowly, confidently, claiming me all over again. I moaned with each stretch of muscles, each pinch of pain until he was so deep inside of me that I ached with his fullness.

"You feel me, doll? You feel me so deep inside of you?" he asked as he held himself inside of me, refusing to move as I kneeled face down, ass up before him, unable to speak over the ache he created inside of me.

"You feel me and know that this is mine," he said in a strained voice as my pussy gripped him tightly, urging him to move, to relieve the pressure that his tongue, cock and words were creating inside of me. His hand trailed over my back before trailing underneath me to rub the over stretched flesh where we were joined. This light touch made me shudder beneath him as I wiggled against him, urging him to move, to fuck me before I died from his lack of movement.

I felt his fingers trace my over extended flesh surrounding his cock as I swallowed him inside of me before trailing up to circle my clit softly, too softly so there was no fiction, only the teasing ache of being so close to cumming without any relief.

"This is all mine, doll and never forget that," he said tightly before pinching my clit harshly as I cried out from the pleasure pain of his touch. It was my cry that finally spurred him on to move and move he did. He pulled out completely from my body before slamming back into me with a groan of pleasure that shook me to my soul with its reverberations.

Edward was beast with his fierceness when it came to fucking. He was hard and fast. His grip was tight and teasing as he fucked me with wild abandon as if nothing else mattered except the pleasure it gave us; truly nothing else did matter more than that.

"I love your pussy," he moaned loudly as slammed in and out of me as I cried out, clinging to the leg of the coffee table that was close by as an anchor for his deep fucking.

"So fucking wet and tight," he moaned loudly as I bit my lip over the pleasure filled ache inside of me as his cock went so deep that my body jerked in response from nerves hit more than pleasure found.

"So fucking mine," he growled loudly as I moaned in response just as his hand grabbed my hair, pulling my head up and freeing a loud moan in the process as I gasped for air. The sting of hair pulling made the ache inside of me amplify and worked against the pleasure of his cock filling me, creating a dual sensation that made it impossible for me to find air. The sensation intensified as he bent me to his will so that I was pressed upright against him with my back against his chest as he continued to fuck me without missing a beat. His hand trailed across my belly, holding me place while allowing his finger tips to tease at my clit in time to how he fucked me. It was maddening and left me breathless as the angle of cock inside of me changed causing a squirming feeling inside of me. I was a feeling that was pleasure and pained filled, but more than that it left me feeling as if I needed a release. It left me feeling as if I needed to pee or move or something as it continued to build inside of me. It was pleasurable and awkward. It was a horrible mix of feelings that left me needing to move away from the man who was fucking me as if tomorrow would never come.

I took each thrust of his with a moan and twisting as he held me in place, never letting me move, never relieving me of the pressure that was building inside of me while he whispered in my ear how I was born to be fucked like this. It was dirty and made the ache inside of me increase to the point of where I needed to move or end it since I could not take it any longer.

"Edward, please…" I babbled as I struggled against his grip, trying to free myself, trying to break free to sop the twisting sensation inside of me that was pure pressure by this moment in time.

"Please. I need to… I need to," I babbled as I struggled to find words as the pressure inside me built, but his grip in my only tightened as his hips swirled up, pushing against my inside as his fingers continued to rub and tease my clit.

"No," he said in a rough voice that brought tears to my eyes as the pressure felt too tight, robbing me of air as he continued to fill me with his cock.

"You are going to cum so hard my baby, so hard that your pussy will never forget you will never forget who… who…. Who owns you," he babbled senselessly as I fought back the tears that threatened to spill over as he continued on, driving me towards the madness that only he could incite in me.

The pressure built to the point where I could no longer see, I could only feel. I could only feel the stretching of my pussy as he filled me. I could only feel the ache and twitch of muscles as his cock hit my inner flesh. I could only feel his finger rubbing along my clit in time to his hard thrusts. I could only feel his breaths against my neck as he struggled to breathe with me until there was nothing, but the white hot burn of mixed pleasure and pain as it finally consumed me. My body froze, stiffening, refusing to move as every muscle locked down from as I reached the peak of whatever bliss that I was forced into. It was a higher I had never experienced as my body was swallowed up in the warm encasing honey of ecstasy, rendering me lost in a haze of pleasure that I had never known had existed before this moment. My body wasn't my own, it was more of tool for Edward's use as I listened to my own cries of pleasure as he continued his deep thrusting inside of me while I rode out my endless orgasm with its wetness running down my thighs and over his fingers as I came over and over again.

It was too much, yet my body could not stop. It was as if Edward had broken some damn inside of me, broken something inside of me in his need to claim me as his, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I couldn't breathe or even think beyond him and the pleasure he gave me in that moment.

He let go of me, causing my body to fall forward on to the carpet beneath me as I could not find the strength to even hold myself upright since all of my energy was focused on the release I was trapped inside of as well as the what pleasure I was giving Edward. It was all wanted. It was all I needed; this feeling of being so consumed by pleasure and by the man who would own me forever. It was all I needed and he knew this all too well.

Edward shifted inside of me, fucking me wildly, deeply with hard strokes that were crazed in his desperation until he finally slammed so deep inside of me it caused me to yelp in pain as he groaned through his own release, pulling back only to fill me again with each jerking spurt of his cock.

His wet body collapsed on top of my shaking one, pushing him inside of me as I lay upon the coarse feeling carpet, enjoying the feel of his weight on top of me. I remained face down and motionless as Edward moved off of me, creating a trail of sticky wetness across the back of my thighs as he moved away from me with a groan. It was a low groan that made me smile since I knew all too well that it was a groan of pleasure; his pleasure of a release that I provided for him.

His hands trailed over my back, not caring that my skin was tacky from sweat of our lovemaking before tracing over my ass and then finally my swollen, used pussy.

"Never forget, doll," he said in a serious tone, a solemn tone that caused me to turn my head to look at him. Edward's green eyes were dark and serious in a way I had never seen before. It was that seriousness that made my breathe catch in my throat as I looked at him with what was masked surprise.

"But," he continued on with a grin that quickly took away the serious tone in the charged air around us.

"If you ever forget I will be happy to remind you once more," he said with a grin that made me giggle for all its lightness before leaning over to nip at the rounded curve of my ass.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Once more all mistakes are mine as I decided to post this in effort to catch up on my missed postings. So once more I own all mistakes and I apologize to Cejsmom my beta and Beegurl13 my beloved prereader in this hot mess for not consulting them.**

**You guys all have some great theories over who is doll and who is Mrs. Cullen. I love reading them so thanks for sharing : )**

**Come find me on line at twitter as mamasutra73 or at Facebook as Mamasutra Hornball or in my group Mamasutra Moments. I'll try not to bore you : )**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Days passed and as they did Edward was closer to me than ever. He would be with me during the day and then come to my house at night to fuck me to sleep while his wife believed he was at gym working out to keep his fantastic physic. She was so blind. She believed ever lie he told her and while it should have made up feel ill, instead it left me feeling victorious since somehow, in some way I was winning. I was winning each time he chooses me over her.

"I can't get enough of your sweet little pussy," Edward purred to me as he tugged my panties down so that they puddle around my feet as I stood before him, shirt open and breast on full display, nipples hard and we from his mouth.

"I need you my sweetheart," he purred to me as his fingers dipped inside of me for a moment, feeling how wet, how ready I was for him as I swallowed a moan that threatened to escape from my lips. With Edward's help my skirt was tossed to the way side and I was placed upon his desk, spread wide and aching to feel complete with his cock inside of me before his pants ever dropped to his ankles. This was lunch. This was my lunch, his lunch, locked away in his office while he was buried deep inside of me. It was my favorite time of the day and his as well from how often he insisted on feasting upon my pussy instead of whatever left overs his wife lovingly packed for him each morning.

I closed my eyes a breathed deep as I felt shuddering moan as he pushed inside of me.

"Fuck, I love this," he hissed to me as my body stretched to accept him in until finally giving way for him. This was our day. This was our time, lost in each other, lost in loving each other as he thrust in and out slowly, making the pleasure last.

There had been a change in Edward's technique. He was slower as if he was savoring our time together. He was softer in his touch, yet still demanding. He was almost what I needed him to be with the exception of not being mine.

Slowly he pushed us toward our bliss while the unsuspecting office hummed around us. People down the hall had no idea that the mousy secretary was busy most afternoons lost in the thrall of being fucked by Edward Cullen. They had no idea and that made me smile since that meant they had no idea how Edward truly was or what he truly needed to complete his day.

"That's it baby, I want to feel you cum on my cock," he moaned softly to me as my body started to unravel under his touch beneath his cock, before his hungry eyes. I shuddered as felt the white hot bliss that only Edward had ever given me wash over, swallowing me whole as his thrusting became faster, harder as he chased after his own release until he still inside of me, filling me with his warmth as he came with a throaty groan.

I clung to him like I always did in the days since e arrived at my apartment hell bent in fucking me, except this time he allowed it. He allowed me to cling a little longer, to press kisses along his neck, even though he never kissed me in return; to caress my skin after he was done, not just as a way to warm me up to touch before he came inside of me. I loved the change in him. I loved his soft sighs and had cock. I loved his low moans and hard thrusts. I just loved him and with each passing day of this growing intimacy made that love grow as well.

"I have to go doll," he whispered to me as he pushed me off him faster than what I had wanted, giving me a flash back to when our time was all fucking and forgetting as soon as he filled me with cum.

"Why?" I asked him as I sat up, letting his spill out of me on to his desk in as I did before he handed me my discarded panties.

"I am meeting my wife," he said with a grin that was hers alone. It was a grin of happiness that I could never touch. I knew why he was meeting her and it made me sick. She was pregnant again. I found out when Edward's father announced it an office meeting followed up by champagne for all the employees to celebrate the fact that the golden boy had procreated with his queen bitch.

"What does she need you for? Didn't she get what she wanted from you already?" I asked him in a bitter tone as I slipped on my panties before pulling up my skirt that was now wrinkled from being tossed on the floor.

I had not bothered to look at his face until I felt his hand clamp down on my arm, spinning me around with its biting hold to face him. He was enraged. I could see the hot anger in his eyes as he looked at me causing me to flinch as he gave me a slight shake to get my attention.

"She is my wife and you will not talk about her like that," he hissed at me in anger as he looked down at me with cold, dark eyes.

"I love her, and you will not speak in such a manner about the woman I love," he finished in a hiss as I gawked at him for a moment before my anger took the better of me. I had listened for over a year about what a wonderful woman she was and how much he loved her, yet he was half naked and sweaty from fucking me, which made him a liar.

"If you respected her so much, _loved_ her so much you wouldn't be here with me telling me how much you love my pussy while fucking me every chance you got," I replied in an angry tone that I had never used with Edward as he bitter words poured out of me like acid. My word found their mark as I watched Edward's face go white and then red with anger as his hand gripped my arm so tight that I winced in response to his painful touch.

"You will never speak to me like that again, do you understand me?" he asked as he gave me a slight shake.

"My wife never had to act like a whore to get my attention. She was a lady and continues to be one, unlike you, who are just a little girl who has mistaken a cock inside of her for love," he hissed at me while I shook from the hurt in his words and the anger it caused with me.

"You are good for a few things, doll, and none of them are secretary work. You only work better after a good fucking which shows were your true talent lies and what you truly get paid for," he said with an evil smirk as he let go of me with a shove as I gasped I shock and hurt over his words.

"Now get out, you've done what I pay you for today," he finished as he slipped his belt through his belt loops before slipping his shoes back on. I stumbled backwards, watching his cold expression before turning to run out of his office, my shirt still half undone and my hair a tangled mess, so he wouldn't see my tears as they burned my eyes.

"Oh, and doll, don't forget to send flowers to Ms. Denali in accounting," he called after me, causing me to pause to look at him, letting him see the marks his words had made with the tears that threatened to spill over.

"She earned them with her _exceptional _work for me," he said in a taunting manner as my mind shifted back to the night he dismissed me to work with the whore from accounting over a discretionary in bookkeeping. I nodded in response, trying to keep it together as I imagined him fucking her on his desk, the couch, all the places that were mine and his. I could see her long legs wrapped around his narrow waist and his head tossed back in pleasure while he pulled her long strawberry blonde hair just like he loved to pull mine. It made me sick to think of and he had to know this. He had to know and this was way he was tormenting me now over this thought.

"Good girl," he cooed tauntingly as I bit back a sob before turning to leave him alone so I could let my world shatter without him watching it fall apart for his pure enjoyment.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Quiet. Stillness. It was all that I wanted to calm my life of the turbulence that filled my life, yet not what I needed. I needed Edward, but that wasn't going happen.

After leaving his office in disgrace I promptly left work. I needed time and time was the one thing that I had. I had time to think and to consider what I would do next since I knew I needed to free of the man that haunted my days.

I promptly called Carlisle Cullen's secretary and announced that I would need a leave of absence. She was pleased to give it to me while reminding me that the Cullen Corporation was very supportive of their employees needs. She had no idea who supportive Mr. Cullen could be of my needs as long as he was getting off as well.

I took a week to clear my head, yet it wasn't enough since in my time away from work I only missed him more. I went home. I faced my parents who were startled to see me, but loved having me there all the same. They didn't understand why I was so broken and I couldn't tell them that my heart ached for a married man. They would be so disappointed since they had raised me better than that, yet here I was in this mess.

I needed comfort. I needed guidance. I needed Edward. I needed him to tell me he was wrong and that I was all that he wanted. I needed him to call me back and tell me to come back to him with the promise of better day yet that never happened.

After a week off I returned to work with a heavy heart and a determined mind that I could do better than being someone's second best. I opened my email. I avoided entering his office. I kept his schedule full of meetings and luncheons so that there was no down time where he and I could be alone. I arranged it all and after a day of not seeing him, yet knowing he was there I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned off my monitor before scurrying out the door like the rat I was.

Days passed like this. Days of only communicating with Edward by email and post it notes. Days of no contact even though he was so close that I could smell him, so close that I could feel him even though he was in the next room.

_Be strong._

_ You are better than being someone's second best._

_ You deserve happiness._

These words became my mantra as I struggled with my work day avoiding the man whom every cell in my body screamed for. I would repeat these words over and over again as I avoided him. I repeated these words over and over again as I approached Carlisle Cullen to offer my services on special projects within the company which basically were dead projects that the unwanted workers were shuffled off on to. These were the words I repeated as I reported to another desk, in another part of the company while old Mrs. Cope took my place as Edward's assistant. I knew this would infuriate him, but I didn't care. This wasn't about him. This was about me. This was about doing what was right for me, even if it killed me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry for no beta'ing & Pre reading, but I wanted to get this posted before the US holiday on Wednesday.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Twenty-one days. Twenty-one days is what people say is needed to make a change a habit. Whoever said this was a liar since twenty-one days had passed and I was no better than what I had been the first day I was without him.

I continued to live my half life, marking off each day like a prisoner marking off another day spent in captivity. I worked, I went to the gym, and then at the end of the day I would come home to my empty apartment. I would shower, get dressed for bed, and then stare at the cell phone Edward had given me just so he could contact me whenever he needed me. I would stare at it as it sat there silent and turned off since the day I walked out of Edward's office with the promise I would be better than the second class whore I had become. I would sit and stare at the dead phone, wondering if he had called. If he had needed me at all. If he had apologized or promised a better tomorrow, since that was all I wanted. I wanted the promise that what I was doing, what I was risking wasn't all for nothing. I wanted the promise that there was more to me and him than just lusty afternoons or orgasms that I could feel down to my soul. I wanted more and because of it I wanted him to want more with me. I wanted it so badly, yet I knew that it would never happen. He would never leave her. He would never leave his children, no matter what I wanted or what he needed.

I would start the day the same as I ended it- with his phone in my hand while my heart begged me to turn it on, to see, to know if he had missed me at all. In the end I would sit the phone back on its place upon my dresser and start the day with a new resolve to be strong.

Days were passing and they did my mother took it upon herself to help out. She knew something was off. She had guessed it was a boy. She had no idea it was a man or that it was a man she knew.

"Baby, this is ridiculous," she said to me as she sat upon my beat up couch with a disapproving look as she looked around my place and how empty it looked. It was empty. I was empty without him. I was empty without him.

"What you need is a good night out and I know just who to call," she said with a sweet smile as she patted on my leg as if she had the solution to my worries. It was those fateful conversations that lead me to where I was at the moment; in an expensive French restaurant trying to be wooed by a person who was less of a man and more of a boy than what I would have liked.

"So, tell me about your job?" he asked me as he smiled kindly at me. What was there to say? I could tell him how I had once loved my job because I worked for a man who was hard to please and even harder to get over. I could tell him about how I longed for work days over weekends since I would leave aching and satisfied.

"I just work in an office," I said with a smile as he smiled in return. It was a nice smile. Liam was a nice guy. He knew my parents. He was young and handsome. He held a nice job and was interested in me. He held open doors and was a perfect gentleman. He everything a girl would want plus more. I knew with time I could find away to care for him, to want him, if I allowed myself those feelings.

"Tell me about you, Liam," I said as I smiled at him, willing myself to feel something for this boy who smiled at me so eagerly. I listened as he explained his job as an accountant. I listened as he told me about his hobbies that filled his spare time. I listened and wanted to care about this man with kind eyes.

It was in the middle of his telling me about some inane fact about his college days when I felt it. It was the slow tingle of awareness that made me nervous as I realized I was being stared at.

I looked over my shoulder to find Edward and his wife seated at a table across the way from us. Mrs. Cullen happily smiled and waved, saying hello from the distance that separated us. She was friendly and warm. She was beautiful and perfect like always. She was everything I wasn't as she welcomed me with a bright grin and sly, yet silly, thumbs up towards my date.

It wasn't her that I was focused on. It was him; it was Edward. He sat there with a look of disbelief as he glared at me with a cold look upon his face. He was shocked and while I wanted to be happy that I had shocked him by going out with another man, I couldn't be. I couldn't be happy when he looked at me like that. I couldn't be pleased when I knew he was that upset. I couldn't do anything except stare into his green eyes that raged with what appeared to be hurt disbelief.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! A special thanks to Beegurl13 for her amazing abilities and for letting me talk her ear off over this story. I love her & you all should too! Go check out her stories and fall in love with her : ) As always thanks to Cejsmom for her words and kindness.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The date went downhill fast as I struggled to remain calm while under the watchful eye of Edward. I hated that I felt so out of place all of a sudden. I hated that he was across the room with a scowl on his face. I hated that I felt as if I had disappointed him instead of being liberated from him. It was horrible and Liam noticed.

"Are you ok?" he asked me in a concerned tone as I rubbed at my temples, willing away the head ache that was building along with the pain in my chest I felt whenever I saw Edward with her.

"Not really," I whispered to him while trying to smile as he looked at me, all blue eyes and worry.

"You're mom said you had been sick," he said, surprising me that he had remembered or even that my mom had told him that I had been ill.

"I had strep throat a week ago, but I'm almost done with my antibiotics so…" I stammered on lamely, trying to give an excuse for my bad behavior.

"You need to rest," Liam agreed sympathetically before chastising himself for taking me out when I clearly needed to recover from my illness. I watched as he flagged down the waiter for our ticket while avoiding Edward's gaze as best as what I could, even though I knew there was no avoiding him.

Liam paid then turned towards me to take my hand to escort me out of the restaurant with a gentle touch. I glanced over my shoulder in Edward's direction as I was ushered out by Liam to find his harsh green gaze watching me as I left with another man.

The drive back to my apartment was quiet as I felt the rolling of my stomach as I thought about the look on Edward's face as I left. He was angry. He was hurt. It was my fault and while I should rejoice in the fact I was given a reaction from him instead of the ice cold indifference that I had grown accustomed to, I couldn't. I felt sick inside. I felt sick as I held L's warm hand. I felt sick as he walked me to my door in the rain. I felt sick as I watched Liam stammer as he attempted to set a second date; a date that I wanted to go on, yet knew it was wrong to since it would lead nowhere.

Once he was gone I was able to collapse inside my empty apartment fed with memories of a man who was with another. I was able to cry as I held on to the pillow of the couch that Edward had once been with me on. Once I was there, inside the safety of what memories I had of him in my home, I was able to crumble into the mess I was trying so hard not to be.

The tears came hard and fast as I fought the urge to contact him. I had been doing so well. I had stayed away. I had given him a wide berth. I had given myself time to heal, to build up a wall or at least some resistance, yet after seeing him in all of his beautiful rage I was lost once more.

I listened as the storm raged outside, matching the turmoil I felt inside as I sat there, trying to calm myself as I struggled to remember that I deserved more while that mantra slowly morphed back into _I deserve him._

I was just wiping at my tears as the first pounding on my door began. It was loud. It was rhythmic. It was startling, so startling that it left me gasping for air as pounding on the door continued on, interrupting my pity party for myself and my horrible choice who I loved.

I walked to the door and looked out the peep hole to find a red faced Edward, beating on the door as if it owed him money. His rage radiated off of him in waves that was almost visible as he pounded on the door with a closed fist. I jerked the door in-between his random beating, leaving him startled with a fist closed in midair ready to strike.

Edward looked at me wild eyed before pushing me aside to enter my apartment without another word. He stood in the middle of the room looking for something anything, but what that was I had no idea.

"Where is he?" he asked me in a low growl as he turned towards me with a snarl that made me step back in an odd mix of fright and shock. I had never seen him like this. I had never seen him so out of shorts, so out of control for me.

"Who?" I managed to stutter just as he grabbed my arms to drag me to him in a rush of anger and heat.

"The little asshole you were with," he hissed as he glared at me in anger mixed with something else his eyes that took my breath away as he shook me, forcing me respond.

"Why did you leave me?" he demanded, jumping from the topic of Liam to my absence at work.

"Was it some fucked up way to punish me?" he asked as he shook me again causing my head to snap back from the force of the shaking.

"To punish me for hurting you?" he demanded from me as he looked at me with a look that hurt since I could see the pain and anger written all over his face.

"You're hurting me now, Edward," I said causing him to stop shaking me so fast that I fell forward into him, ramming my face into his hard chest in response to how fast he let go of me. I watched as his eyes went wide and his face paled over my comment as he stood there looking at me in silent horror.

The air was heavy between us as I rubbed at where his hard grip held my arms firmly in place.

"I'm…uh…I'm sorry," he said tightly as he looked at me with blood shot green eyes that looked far from calm.

"You should be," I responded as I watched his eyes go wide before looking down once more in what appeared to be embarrassment.

"You left me, doll, and I thought…I thought that it was you just being mad about Tanya, but you know how I am, doll. You know me. You know me and love me, you told me this so I thought…" he stammered trying to explain what happened with Ms. Denali, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know about him and her. I never wanted to know.

"Did you fuck her?" I asked him as if he owed me an answer when he didn't. I asked him while dreading the answer, because I already I knew it. I knew he fucked her. It was clear from his silence and how he looked away from me.

"Never mind," I muttered as I stepped back from the man who would always own my heart no matter how he handled it.

"Doll, I needed you and you weren't there," he said in a whisper as I looked at me with remorse filled eyes that made my heart hurt as he tried to explain his time with the other woman.

"I needed you and she was there. It was one night and nothing more," he said softly as if his explained everything and in a way it did. It explained it and left me feeling sick.

"But I never left you. I never turned away. That was you, baby," he said in a louder voice as his eyes turned from pleading to a hardened look that made my heart pound in my chest.

"I would _never_ leave you. I need you too much, but you… you left me. And then I find you with… with _him,_" he hissed at me as his anger built once more to a fiery pitch.

"I'm allowed someone, Edward. You have someone or have you forgotten about her," I said enjoying his anger, enjoying the feel of rage that spread throughout the room like a wild fire.

"I would _never_ forget her. I love her. She owns my heart," he said as he spoke of his wife as she was a damn saint.

"Then why are you here?" I asked of him stepping closer, enjoying the sizzle in the air between us as I fought with him, and pushing him to give me something, anything to believe in when it came to us. I needed more than what he had given me.

"Why am I here?" he asked me with a humorless laugh as he looked around my placed as if it just dawned on him that he was here with me.

"Yes," I asked, waiting, praying that he would leave me be, yet hoping like hell he would stay. I stood motionless as Edward stalked closer to me with a determined look. Before I could even register what was occurring I was in his arms with his hard, heated lips pressed against mine, kissing me, nipping at me, and licking at me in a desperate attempt to claim me. The feeling of his heated kiss caused me gasp in surprise since he never kissed me. His lips never touched mine. Kissing was against his rules. It was something he saved for _her,_ yet there he was kissing me, marking me, as if his life depended on it.

I sighed as his tongue touched mine softly before twisting around mine in a teasing manner while his fingers dug into my hair, pulling and tugging until it fell down around us. He tasted like whiskey and regret as his tongue wrapped around mine, pulling me into his mouth with a muffled moan of pleasure.

Warning bells were ringing in my ear. Warning me, alerting me that this wrong and it was so wrong. So wrong that it hurt. So wrong that it left me breathless and needy from all our time apart. So wrong that I knew if this went forward there would be no coming back for me, that this and all the stolen moments that come with being Edward's second best would be all I would ever get from him. I tried to think of all the positive words I had told myself in my time apart from him.

_I am stronger than this._

_ I deserve happiness._

_ I deserve more._

These words ran through my head mocking me as I struggled to breathe while Edward kissed me as he walked me backwards until I hit the wall with a hard thud. It was only then that his lips left mine and started to trail down my throat in the most delicious of ways.

"Has anyone touched you, baby" he asked in a breath of hot air against my neck as his large hands cupped my breasts through the silk of my dress, tasting my taunt nipples with his nimble finger tips. I couldn't breathe to form the words to answer him so instead I shook my head no.

"That's my doll," he whispered with a dark chuckle as if he was pleased with my answer.

"You know you belong to me, don't you baby?" he cooed to me as he ran his nose along neck and down my chest before dropping to his knees before me as I remained frozen in place, torn between what I wanted and want I knew was wrong.

I felt his hand slide up my legs, curving upward to trace along my outer thigh teasingly before slipping higher to reach where my panties rested against my hips. I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers hook in the fabric to take hold before he tugged them down over my hips and then finally my legs so they pooled at my feet.

"I've missed you, baby," he whispered to me as he looked up at me with a wicked look in his lust dark eyes while grinning at me in a seductive manner that made my heart clench in my chest.

"Let me show you how much," he whispered as I felt his fingers slowly probe at my pussy, pulling me and my resolve apart for his own pleasure before descending upon me with his talented tongue, knowing the way to make me cum while breaking my will to distance myself from the man I knew who would destroy.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! There may not be an update next week since I will be on vacation, but I will try all the same : )**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

***warning! This is has not been beta'd or pre read. Al mistakes are mine alone.**

Edward spent his time on his knees licking and nipping me to a thundering orgasm, urging me to ride his face as I tried to hold on the wall for support, put failed miserably since he continued to hold me up. It was only after the ringing in my ears passed from the last wave of pleasure that I noticed Edward unbuckling his pants. He was ready to claim me as his again and while I wanted it, needed it, I knew better. I knew better than to make a mistake so I stopped him. I whispered with ragged breath about the antibiotics and possible risk in my pills. He grumbled about it, but agreed it was too big of risk to take in his life before changing his mind as lust took over and made him careless by begging me to let him fuck me.

"I don't care, doll," he murmured in a ragged tone of need that caused my pussy to clench with excitement. I loved when he begged for me.

"No," I whispered to him in a firm tone, enjoying the thrill of power that came with denying him after all the time he had denied me.

"But I need you baby," he whispered, pleading as he unbuckled his pants completely, freeing his cock while taking my breath away.

It had been twenty one days since I had been with him. Twenty one days since I had felt him inside of me, tasted the tang of his cock or had even seen his heavy flesh. In those twenty-one days I had imaged. I had used my memory as to his touch and how he looked when he was hungry for me, but my memory was nothing compared to seeing him like this with his pants around his ankles as he stroked his cock begging for me. Seeing him like this was too much. It left me hungry and aching for him as well even though I knew it was too risky.

"Let me touch you," he murmured as his pulled me to him. I could feel the heat of skin as he stood so close to me and it was intoxicating. I wanted him and he knew it. I closed my eyes as I felt his hands trace over my breasts, cupping them, tweaking my nipples as I stood there helpless, yet so powerful as I told him no over and over again.

"I have an idea," he murmured as his lips captured mine in a sloppy kiss that told me of his desperation. Before I could respond he spun me around so his cock was pressed against my ass. There was a flash of fear that raced through me since I had always said no to anything beyond traditional sex and Edward knew this, but the Edward who was pressed against me was not a reasonable one. He was a man on a mission and that mission was to fuck away the pain and pressure that came from too many days apart.

"Easy, my baby doll," he whispered with a rush as he moved behind me, lifting me up just enough to slip his clock between my legs so it was nestled between the wet lips of my pussy, causing us both to groan with frustrations over being that close to what we both wanted, yet so far away.

He slowly pulled back, rubbing his cock along my wet skin only to push forward, hitting my clit as his hips pushed upwards in a hard thrust.

"Jesus, baby, you feel so fucking good," he moaned in my ear as his hips moved, pushing his cock to slip and slide along my pussy, yet never entering me. It was an act of a desperate man seeking release while pulling me along with him in the pursuit.

"I need to be inside of you. I need to feel your tight little pussy clamped around my cock, baby. I need to feel you cum on me. I need it, doll. I need it so fucking bad," he moaned in my ear as his cock bumped my clit causing me to cry while his fingers pinched my nipples in time to his demanding thrust. We kept up on this pace until I collapsed as my body shook with the force of another hard orgasm, rendering me speechless and practically blind from the darkness that swallowed me as pleasure took over my brain in a thundering wave.

I couldn't move, but that didn't matter since Edward was still in control. He knew what he wanted, but that was Edward. He always knew what he wanted and at this moment of time it was me. He wanted me and it made my heart sing. It made my soul cry for the time apart. It my mind reel since even though I had him like this now, begging for my body, he still was no closer to being mine than what he was the day I came into his room naked, demanding his cock.

"I need your mouth, baby. I need your mouth," he moaned loudly while moving urging me to suck his cock as he pushed it in my face. I was wet from me and dripping with precum.

"I want you to swallow every drop, doll. Every fucking drop," he grunted as I sucked upon his cock greedily, moaning over the taste of my pussy on his skin, just the way he liked. I told myself as I sucked his long, velvety smooth cock while he moaned loudly before filling my mouth with his cum, that it would be this act and then nothing else, but as he purred my name softly while pushing his cock down my throat I knew there would be more illicit acts of sex and wanting this man who knew my body better than I knew my own. I knew I was too lost to the lust and haze that followed Edward in my life. I was too lost to the man who wrecked me every chance he got.

The next days I returned to work, but refused to come back as his assistant. I knew I needed the distance, even if he didn't understand.

"Don't you love me anymore?" he asked in a syrupy sweet tone as his hand slipped along my thigh to tease as my lace covered pussy with his long fingers, teasing me into giving him more.

"Of course I love you," I replied with gritted teeth as his fingers found my clit and rubbed against it gently.

"Then be with me," he whispered to me, pushing on my wet flesh before dipping his fingers underneath the lace as I sat upon his desk, leg spread as wide as my skirt would allow, looking every bit the part of the home wrecking whore that I was playing as I gasped while knocking paperwork all over the floor.

"Be with me, doll," he purred as he slipped a finger inside of me just as I began to quake from a soft orgasm.

"I am with you. It's you who's always with someone else," I whispered in a ragged voice just as his new assistant announced his wife was waiting for him. I knew he had lunch plans with her. He had told me. He always told me now.

"Tell her I'm almost done," he said with a wicked grin to me as he pushed a second finger inside of me, surprising me with the feeling of pressure it created as well as the pleasure that came with it. I gasped loud and clear, not caring that the old woman on the other line could hear me and obviously neither did Edward since he immediately started to pump his fingers deep inside of me in time to the friction his thumb was creating on my clit.

"I want to watch you cum, doll" he purred to me as I closed my eyes, fighting off the urge to cum for him since I wanted to prolong this. I wanted to prolong his touch and this feeling he created in me even if it was wrong. He kept this up, pushing me, whispering how good it would be to be inside of me as well as how good he will be from now on.

"No else, but you, doll," he whispered to me just as I felt my body tense right before I grunted a groan in response to stifling the scream that was on the tip of tongue as pleasure surged through me, knocking the air out of my lungs as it took over my soul.

"No one, but you, baby," he whispered as he held me while I crashed from the high I was on hard and fast over his words. He was lying, but Edward was a master liar. He was lying to me and he knew it as well since there would always be another person beside me; a person above me that he loved and cherish, yet not enough to stop this train wreck of an affair that consumed us both. There would always be his wife and I was a fool for ever wanting to believe his lies.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks for the reviews. They warm my heart and make me smile, even the tough ones. I do want to remind people though that Doll has never been named and will not be named until the end. **

**On a brighter note, this crazy fic was nominated for fic of the week on the lemonade stand. I know there is a snow ball's chance in hell of this fic winning since it is not everyone's cup of tea, but I want to thank everyone who has voted for it as well as encourage you all to come check out The Lemonade Stand since they have awesome people and great rec's. **

**http (:) / .net**

**Anyway, more to come on this fic... Maybe tonight if I can get the fam to leave me alone…**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I dressed for a wedding that I did not want to attend and hated that I was stuck going. I hated that I had agreed to go, but even more I hated that Liam was going with me. It wasn't that I hated Liam. I didn't. He was a nice guy; a nice guy with a sweet smile that faltered when I told him that I only wanted to be his friend. I made that sweet smile falter because I couldn't drag him in the middle of the mess of my life that I had created. I couldn't make him be second best as I struggled to end things with Edward, yet never did. I couldn't hurt another person, yet here he was as my impromptu date just to keep my mother off my back.

"You look lovely," he said with a warm smile as he stood at my door waiting for me. I looked down at my dress and rolled my eyes. I was dressed in pink silk dress that clung to my curves making the pink look less childlike and more temptresses.

"Thanks," I said as I felt the heat from my blush as I waved him off while grabbing my clutch to leave with him.

"You look like a doll," he said with a half laugh as I froze over the word doll. No one called me doll except for Edward and when he called me that name it was endearing, but hearing it on Liam's lips made me cringe.

"You ok?" he asked me as he looked at me, frozen in time or his words.

"Uh, yeah," I said as I turned towards him once more while struggling to regain composure as the wave of sick déjà vu washed over me.

"Uh…I cannot thank you enough for doing this," I said in a shaky voice that I tried to cover up with a laugh as I stepped out into the hall to lock the door behind me.

"What are friends for," Liam said in a forced tone that reminded me of how unhappy he was with his position in my life, yet if he only knew I was sparring him from the heart ache of the train wreck I had created he would thank me.

The night passed and as it I actually enjoyed myself. There was something about being with Liam that was so easy. He was like the sun in a darkroom. He was different from Edward; so different than Edward and I liked it. He would whisper jokes and hold open doors. He treated me like a lady and it had been so long since I had been treated like that that I revealed in it.

It wasn't until the reception that I felt the heaviness that I had grown accustomed to settle over me midway through laughing at a joke that Liam shared. I didn't need to turn to see who it was since I knew. I knew it was Edward. He was here.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Someone asked how long this fic would be… right now at this moment the way I have it planned I am thinking about five to seven chapters depending on how long I make the chapters. Some chapters will be very short and because of that it may bring the chapter numbers up a bit, but yeah… I'm thinking five to seven at the moment if I follow my outline.**

**Once more, thanks to everyone who has voted for this fic on the Lemonade Stand Poll for Fic of the Week. I appreciate it and love you for it : ) The extra chapters posted are just for you : )**

**Until later….**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I avoided him, yet he was all I could see. Edward beside his wife, smiling as some relative made conversation with them as his arm draped around her, holding her protectively to his side while they sat there. I tried to listen to Liam or my father as they spoke about some sport event that I had no patience to watch. I tried to listen to my mom as she whispered the latest family gossip, which thankfully did not include my name. I tried my best not to look at him or acknowledge him, but it was impossible to resist. I needed to look at him. I needed to see if he had noticed me and of course, he had. I knew he had by the way he looked at me. I knew he had by how dark his eyes were, showing me how displeased he was over me being here with another man. I knew he had by the venom in his eyes as he scowled at me.

"You know, I never liked him," my mother said as she elbowed me, pulling me out of my staring contest with a man who was firmly at his wife's side.

"You never liked who?" I asked her to be polite, but in all honesty I didn't care which uncle she hated or whoever's child annoyed her.

"I never liked him," she said motioning towards Edward with a wave of disdain, shocking me with her dislike of Edward. Everyone loved him and I had always thought was part of the masses that loved him as well.

"Why?" I questioned, surprised by her words.

"I don't like how he looked at you, like you have no business having a life outside of his office. It's ridiculous," she muttered, taking me by surprise over how observant she was concerning him and I. She just had no idea that Edward's focus wasn't on work, it was on my private life instead.

"He's just…Just concerned that I won't be as focused on work, that's all," I replied lamely, giving her partial truths mixed with lies as I looked at the man who stared at me with such anger, as if he was wishing I would burst into flames under his gaze.

"He needs to focus on his own life and not rely on you so much," mom said with a sigh as she looked away from me with a sigh.

"I just want to see you happy, baby, and that office, work, him; none of it will make you happy," she said speaking wise words to me, much wiser words than what she even knew.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I had excused myself to the ladies room towards the end of the night while Liam was bus arguing politics with dad and mom was gossiping with her sister. The party was coming to an end and with it the room was empting out. I hadn't noticed if Edward had left or not until I looked and found him sitting with a drink in hand while his wife laughed with another one of our cousins. She looked so happy and rightly so. Pregnancy agreed with her. It made her glow even though she was still pretty early on.

I walked down the hallway towards the ladies room that was empty and just as I pushed on the door to enter the room I was grabbed from behind. A hard hand covered my mouth while another dragged me backwards into a darkroom across the hall. I bit back the urge to scream since I knew it was Edward. It was always Edward.

"Damn it," I heard him hiss in frustration as he struggled with me as well trying to turn on the light. I fought against him until finally the bright lights filled the room, causing us both to stop and stare as we faced each other in a mirror before us.

"What the hell," I muttered against his hand as he loosened his grip on me.

"I told you never again," he whispered in a hiss as he looked at me. His eyes were dark and dilated from the alcohol that he had been drinking.

"I told you never again was that boy to be near you," he growled as I looked at him in the mirror while trying figure out where the hell I was. The room was like a dressing room with mirrors and a couch. It was too small for anything else, yet just right for this clandestine meeting.

"You don't own me," I sputtered to him, trying to hold my ground with the man who controlled me with his fickle moods and strong sex drive. I ignored his hands as they trailed over my curves, touching grasping, burning me as he marked his claim to my body.

"You don't even believe that," he said with a wicked chuckle that made me flinch, but I had no time to react before he spun me around to face him. He pulled my arms above my head while pinning me against the mirror. It was cold and smooth against my back, causing m to shudder in reaction to the heat that came off of his body as he held me there.

"You know you're mine, doll," he whispered in a gravelly voice that made me shake with all its want and lust.

"You know, you belong to me," he whispered, fanning my face with the sweet smell of whiskey and coke from his breath as his free hand trailed over my body, causing to arch involuntarily into his touch.

"This belongs to me. You said it did, remember?" he whispered again harshly as his hand slipped under my dress to cup my pussy though the damning dampness of my panties.

Vile words of denial rested on the tip of my tongue, ready to be unleashed, ready to call him out on all his bullshit, but then I looked in his eyes. They were dark. They were haunted. They were filled with anger and lust. It was too much and so was he as he leaned in to kiss me.

His lips tasted of alcohol and desperation that I had tasted on him before. It was intoxicating to know that I controlled him every bit as much as he controlled me. It left me breathless and aching to the point where my legs moved of their own accord, granting him access to the most vulnerable part of me, the part of me he already knowingly owned.

We groaned together as his fingers pushed aside the lace of my panties to plunge inside of me. He pushed deep while I struggled to spread my legs as wide as what I could to let him have me any way he wanted.

It was this motion that set off the chain reactant that came next as my dress came off in a flurry of trembling hands and grumblings of lust only to be followed by his pants until there was nothing between us except our heated skin.

"You're mine, baby," he moaned lowly as he pushed me down upon the broken down couch that filled the room we were in before pulling my bra down to latch on to one nipple with his eager mouth. It was painful and pleasures filled all at once just like everything that came with my time with Edward.

He wasted no time as he pulled my panties down, tossing them over his shoulder before spreading my legs wide apart, exposing me to him. I could feel eyes on my pink flesh, taking in my pussy with a hungry look that made me moan in response to him.

"This is mine," he said in a low, tense whisper as e traced a finger tip over my wet opening to my clit as I cried for him. He continued talking to himself, whispering how my pink flesh was his alone, like a spoiled child that almost had his favorite toy taken away.

Without another word, Edward pushed his cock inside of me, stretching me, until he was fully inside with a loud groan of pleasure. This was it. This was what it was always about. This moment. This feeling of being so full that it hurt. This moment of where he was inside of me, he was with me and only me. It filled my body and heart all at once until the breaking point.

"Oh god," I heard myself moan in response in a voice that was not mine. It was the cry of desperate woman who longed for this moment, who needed this moment like the air she breathed and had long been denied.

There were no other words, only actions and muttered grunts as Edward all the way out of my body, letting me feel the emptiness that always came over me when he left only to slam hard inside of me, filling me to the point of being painful. It carried on like this, the pushing the filling, the gasping for air until his breathing came in hard grunts as I cried out his name while my body soared with the high that only he ever gave me.

"Yours," I cried to him incoherently over and over again like a broken record as he continued to fill me with my legs held above my head so that he was touching the deepest parts of me with his length. I tried to cling to him through the throes of my orgasm that left me blinded and unable to breathe until he finally pushed as deep into me he could, arching his back while groaning loudly, pleasingly as he came with a hard shudder above me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning. Not beta'd**

"Are you ok?" Liam asked me for what seemed like the fiftieth time.

"Yeah," I replied with a smile that was off as I looked over at his worried face. He knew I was lying. He knew there was something wrong and there was, but I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him what I had done. I couldn't tell him about how Edward stumbled backwards off of me as the sound of his wife's voice filled the room as she spoke to another woman, asking if she had seen Edward. I couldn't tell him about the look of horror as he looked down at me, still exposed and spent from being with him as he struggled to pull his pants up. I couldn't tell him about the tears that I cried as I watched Edward walk away to chase after the woman he loved and was scared would know about his secret love affair with me. He had no idea and I was not about to tell him.

We remained silent until he pulled up in front of my building, not parking, just letting the car idle as we sat there in awkward silence together.

"Thanks for going with me," I whispered as I opened the car door, knowing that this was it with Liam. I struggled to get out the car until I was finally standing upright beside his car before closing the door behind me to leave him so he could go on with his life and find a girl that was worthy of his attention. I turned away from him and started up the lonely walk to the door of my building before I heard his voice calling out to me.

I heard him yelled out my name, causing me to stop. I didn't want to turn to look at him. I couldn't see the disappointment in his eyes that I knew would be there even if he didn't know exactly why.

He yelled for me again, forcing me to turn around to face the man who could have been everything to me if I hadn't messed up my life before he ever came into it.

"You know you can call me, right?" he asked me, reminding me as he gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands.

"Shit," he muttered nervously as he looked out into the darkness of the night before turning back to me.

"I mean, if you need a friend. If you need a friend, call me ok?" he reminded me as I fresh flood of tears filled my eyes even though I tried hard to hide them.

"It's…. It's just that I'm worried about you, ok? I know I shouldn't be. I know you aren't interested, but I can't…I can't just not care," he finished in a soft voice that hinted at his embarrassment for caring for me which only made me feel worse.

I couldn't speak because of the emotions that swelled within me over the kind gesture by a man who shouldn't care. Instead, I just nodded at the man who looked at me with too kind of eyes before running off towards my building without looking back.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I almost made a huge mistake and wrote Doll's real name. Thankfully, I caught that typo : )**

**Sending my love to Beegurl13 for all her support over this hot mess….**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

Old habits die hard and mine never did as I found myself in Edward's office spread out over his leather couch as he pulled my panties down my legs with a greedy look in his eyes. He loved this. He loved this moment when I was exposed to him, for him; waiting to be used anyway he wanted. There was a thrill in touch and a hunger in kiss that I knew was mine alone. Those feelings weren't new, but what was new was the bitter pill I had to swallow as I thought about Mrs. Cullen in all her stunning beauty with a wide smile of pride and love on her face as she rubbed at her expanding belly. She loved him and that was clear. I had known this and hadn't cared since in the past it was all about what I needed, but as he kissed along my thigh I could not stop my thought of her and how badly this would hurt her; how badly we would hurt her if she knew.

"Relax, baby," Edward whispered against my wet skin before licking me in a long, lazy lick that made me shudder. I wanted to relax, but I couldn't. There was something off and what was off was me. It was the long doormat moral clock that began ticking that night of the wedding and my encounter with Edward, counting down my moments with him. I hated it and just like anything involving Edward I blamed her.

It was Mrs. Cullen who I ran into as I stepped out of the room that I had been in minutes after Edward had left me half naked and legs spread wide from sex. It was her that saw my tears and humiliation over breaking a promise to myself that things would be different. It was her that comforted me as I stood there smelling of sex and her husband's cum by telling me that no man was worth my tears. She had no idea. It was her comfort that broke me while reminding that there was more on the line than my own happiness.

I let out an involuntary moan as I felt Edward's fingers push inside of me, preparing me for his cock while urging me to come before he ever entered me. It felt so good and so wrong all at once that it just the sensation of it all sent me over the edge.

"That's it baby, come on my fingers," he cooed to me in a ragged tone as I gasped for air while my body tightened all over in response. He abruptly pulled out his fingers and quickly replaced them with the prodding of his thick cock. I could feel the blunt head, pushing, seeking entrance inside of me, as if I would deny him. We moaned in unison as he slammed inside of me. The pain of stretching muscles and his groan of pleasure made my heart stutter as he stilled for one second before fucking me at a brutal pace that I had grown accustomed to as well as how often he needed me now that we had resumed our illicit affair.

"Fuck," he moaned as he pounded inside of me, pushing inside of me as far as he could, yet it wasn't enough until both my legs were on his shoulders, giving him deep access to me like he demanded.

"I love fucking you like this," he moaned as I struggled to breathe.

"I love how tight your pussy is like this," he said as he punctuated each word with a hard thrust. I loved it too. I loved it too much and with each thrust I felt my body pushed closer to a hard orgasm that never came.

"I could watch this all day," he groaned, causing me to open my eyes and look at him. He was watching where we were joined. This wasn't new. He liked to watch his cock disappear inside of me. He liked to watch as my body stretched to accept him inside. I knew this since this was what he always watched us fuck like that.

I could feel how close he was as he thrust harder, and faster inside of me as if he was struggling to claim me, mark me, while his hands twisted my breasts hard with their pinching. I watched him and felt hi, yet it was like I was experiencing an out of body experience since I was not receiving the pleasure I once had when we were together like this. It left me cold inside and Edward never left me cold inside.

It was with one last thrust deep into me that lifted me off the couch that he still, coming with a loud groan as his hands gripped my tits so tight that it hurt, but that pain matched the stretching fullness I felt with him inside like this. It that pan and the matching ache in my chest that brought tears to my eyes while his wife's words of no man being worth my tears echoed through my head.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I might be able to update later after work, but no promises. My apologies to the lovely Beegurl13 for not handing this horrible chapter over to her wonderful eyes to look over for my mistakes.**

**Until later…**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

Guilt was a horrible thing. It left me feeling cold inside. It robbed me of sleep. It made me realize how badly I had fucked up everything from my life to Edward's. It hurt to acknowledge that. It hurt to know that I had made a mess of everything, yet I kept telling myself there was hope in all of that mess. Hope that I could and would change it all. I could walk away from this mess and no one would get hurt. I could leave him to his family move on with my own life so he could fix his own mess.

It was my plan to leave him and with every encounter with Edward the more firm I became in the idea that it was time for me to leave this all behind. I applied for other job. I looked at other apartments and other ways to change my life, but what I didn't realize the biggest change was looming around me, lurking waiting to be known.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! For those who are annoyed by my mistakes I want to remind you that I place the disclaimer that the chapter has not been beta'd. I choose not to beta for specific reason and if you all that curious then pm me and we can talk about it. If not, & the lack of beta is bother please just click the red 'x' in the upper right hand corner and move on to find another story that is beta'd. For those who don't mind the mistakes, I thank you for over looking them.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

***warning! Not beta'd***

I sat in the hot bubbled filled bath water, trying to relax, but there was no use. I could feel my body tensing with each passing minute, going against the warm water and lavender scented candles that filled my small bathroom that I had it in hopes of forcing myself to relax.

Edward had left me here hours ago under the impression that I was satisfied since he was convinced all I needed to ease the tension in my muscles was a good fucking but that was his answer for every ailment I faced. He did not understand that sometimes he could not solve things with his dick, and He would never know that after the performance I had given him while spread out across my red sheets while he grunted above me. He would never know that every moan, every sigh and shudder was in place in rush him along in his need to release. He would never know that I needed solitude, not his cock, to right this tension, if there was a way to right the tension inside of me.

I laid back and closed my eyes, knowing that the time was passing, but I would take every last moment to I had before moving from the warm bath water that was doing nothing to lift my mood. The alarm on my cell phone rang out, alerting me of the ten minute mark just like it had for the three minute mark, but this time I had to look. I couldn't refuse. I had to know since ten minutes was the longest a person could wait before knowing what their fate was according to all the instructions.

I sloshed out of the tub, dumping water everywhere in the process as I grabbed my towel. I wrapped it around me, not bothering to dry off as I stood before the small sink in my bathroom. I took one last breath and then looked down at the six different, yet close to identical pregnancy tests that lined the small counter top surrounding the sink. My eyes followed each test window on the plastic sticks before me and as I did my heart sank further in my chest as they confirmed what I had denied even though I was ten days late with each plus sign, extra pink line and digital words declaring me pregnant.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Yes, I had planned this path along for her. I will post the last two chapters plus the epi next week. Right now I am thinking that I will post them one day apart instead of one after another.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

It took days for the truth to settle upon me that growing inside of me was Edward's child. In the days that lead up to my acceptance I lived in denial. I pretended that all was fine. I would meet with Edward and go through the motions. I would let him have me any way he wanted and he was overjoyed by it. He never questioned me and I was thankful for that.

It took until the pressure inside me hurt as he pounded me while making me scream while nibbling at my overly tender nipples for me to know that I couldn't deny it any more. I couldn't deny that I had fucked up, that we had fucked up. It was too much and I couldn't keep it inside any more.

I watched as he dressed once more as I slowly pulled my clothes back on as a sick feeling washed over me, giving me the strength to do what I needed to do.

"Edward," I said softly, drawing his attention back over to me as he buttoned his shirt to leave me once more. He looked over at me wordlessly, giving me a pleased smile that he always did after sex.

"We have to stop this," I said in a whisper and then watched his face for any sign of emotion. There was none except for the slight flickering of relief which seemed odd as I had tried to end us before only to have him refuse my breaking up our affair.

"We can't do this anymore," I said in a stronger voice as I looked at him with an even look, trying to tell him that I was serious.

"What are you talking about?" he said in a shocked voice as he looked at me with laughter.

"We already know what will happen, doll. You'll tell me no. We'll spend time apart and then come back to together, better than ever while making up for lost time," he said in a matter of fact tone as he looked at me with laughter in his eyes. He was right that was what had happened, but not any more, not ever again.

"But that's fine. Go ahead and try to leave me. We'll see how far you can go this time before you come back begging for my cock," he said with a snicker that left me feeling cold inside over the truth in his words as he looked at me with icy eyes that hinted at his anger over me ending our affair. I watched as he tied his shoes before running a hand through his hair while I stood there, half dressed and unsure over what I should say or if I should say it at all. I watched him still as stone as he moved towards the door without a look back to me and I knew it was now or never that I speak.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out after him as he walked out the door to leave to go back to her.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! This was a surprise update to thank you all who have stuck with the story. The ending comes next week.**

**Until later…**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I watched as he turned in what seemed like slow motion to look at me with eyes as dark as night.

"What did you say?" he asked me in a calm voice, too calm.

"I'm pregnant. It's yours. There's been no one but you and you know that," I said in a soft voice that showed my weakness as he looked at me with a dark look.

"You…" he said with a sinister laugh as he looked at me in a menacing way that gave me chills.

"You want me to believe that whatever bastard child you've inadvertently conceived is mine?" he said with a sharp laugh as he looked at me with eyes icy in their intensity and cold with their lack of feeling.

"There have only been you," I said in a whisper as I tried to stand my ground, but failed miserably.

"With a whore like you there is never just one man," he said with a cold sneer as I gasped over him calling me a whore. He had used that name before, but it had always been in the throes of passion, used like a term of endearment or dirty talk. It had never made me feel sick or wrong, but how he said the word now left me feeling dirty.

"I am not a whore," I countered back as I challenged him with what little I had, but my words only made him howl in laughter.

"You are a dirty little whore who demands cock or don't you remember that night you stood naked before me demanding that I fuck you?" he asked as he sneered, taking the memory of our first night together and twisting them into a horrible tale of stupidity and fucking while systematically knocking the air out of chest with his cruel words.

"How many others have you fucked doll? How many other men will you try to ruin all for the sake of money?' he asked me mockingly as I fought off the tears that started to fall.

"How many other men have you promised that they were the only one, doll?" he asked me with a deadly look upon his face as I cringed before him.

"Just you," I whispered back to him as he shook his head at me as if he was in disbelief over my answer, but I knew better. He knew. He knew this child; this mess that was growing inside of me was his.

"I believe you're mistaken my dear little whore so why don't you go find the real father instead of crying to me over a problem that is not mine," he said in a mocking manner that left me hollow inside before turning to storm out of my apartment without another word or look back.

I was left speechless for what seemed liked forever as I tried to sort out what I was going to do. I had hoped that Edward would have shown some sort of compassion or maybe just a little sign of the great father I knew him to. Maybe I was just being delusional over the idea that I wanted him to care about what we had created even if I didn't.

It took hours before I could think again and once I did I realized I had no choice. I had no choice and now he would not either. I grabbed my phone, the one he gave me and texted him.

_I'm telling her. _

AN:

Thanks for reading... More to come… Are you ready for the ending?

Xoxo

Mamasutra


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer; I do not own Twilight

**warning! Not beta'd**

Fifty text messages were what I got from him. First, they were filled with fire and hate. They were threatening and telling of the rage he had over this mistake we had made together. Then they slowly changed into a more reasonable tone. They were still filled with anger, but he added gilt on top of it. Guilt for failing. Guilt for hurting others in the process of being together. It was that guilt that leads me to the moment I was with him.

Edward wanted confirmation that I was indeed pregnant and not just bluffing. It was with his money and connections that I found myself being escorted over the Dr. Gerandy's office after hours. He was a local OB/GYN who was a friend of the Cullen family and no doubt Mrs. Cullen's doctor.

"It's not that I don't trust you," Edward explained in a clipped voice while I remained silent. I knew he didn't trust me.

"It's just that I need to see this for myself. I need to know," he said stiffly as if hearing the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor would change anything.

It was in the dark office that I was checked, and a urine sample was taken that confirmed the pregnancy that I had already told him about. It was in a dark room that Dr. Gerandy stood behind us while an ultra sound tech preformed the ultra sound, showing us the small, misshaped form that would be our child while rattling measurements and the date of conception which was the night of the ill fated wedding reception that we had sex at. My eyes bounced from the screen displaying the life inside of me to the deathly pale faced man who sat at my left who looked as if he was on the verge of vomiting while watching the heart beat and the movement of our would be child on the screen before him.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I have this broken apart from the other chapter. After this there are 2 very short chapters that would not mesh together and then the epi.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

The dinner we were seated in was dingy and dark. It was far away from the where Edward would normally be seen and with good reason since he was with me. We ordered coffee and at in silence while he fingered the paper photo of our child in his hand.

"This can't happen," he said after the older waitress sat the cups of coffee before us.

"This cannot happen, doll," he said firmly as he looked at me with determined eyes.

"It has," I replied as I looked at him, enjoying watching him squirm. He had always held all the power in our so called relationship. He was always the one who had all the answers, so it was nice to watch him sputter.

"Doll, you don't want this," he said as he looked at me as if he was looking into my soul.

"I know you don't so bother lying to me or acting like you are enjoying this. You never wanted to be mother. You told me this yourself," he said as he looked at me with an all knowing look.

He knew me too well. I never wanted to be a mother. Even now at this moment with the picture of what was growing inside of me lying on the table between us I never wanted it and still do not. I was not meant to be a mother like some women are. I never liked children. I never dreamed of babies and looking at the picture I didn't see a child. I saw a mistake that was going to destroy me and everyone around me.

"You are only doing this, considering this to be spiteful and that's just so fucking wrong. So fucking wrong for you to bring a human life into the world just to hurt people," he said as he looked at me, reading my heart and all its blackness over this child.

"You want hurt her," he said without mentioning his wife's name as he looked at me.

"You want to bring her down a notch, even though she's done nothing but love you and be kind to you," he said with a shake of his head, knowing me too well by speaking the words I had only thought of.

"You're just scared," I said trying to remain cool as his words shook me inside.

"No, I'm not, but you should be" he said as he looked me with a serious look that rattled my calm exterior.

"I could lose her, that's true. Maybe I will and maybe I won't. I don't know and I will just have to take whatever consequences come from this fucking mistake I made with you, but I won't leave her without a fight," he said with a sad shake of his head that hinted at his despair over his precious wife.

"I do know that she will know you pursued me. She will know how it started and your part in it as well as how she factors into the sick equation that we have created here, so don't think that I will be only one ousted as the villain here," he said in a harder tone that hurt me as I looked at him, seeing the truth in his eyes. She would know everything and by her knowing everything so would everyone else.

"There will be no where for you hide over this one, doll," he said with a smile as if he was enjoying my fear.

"And that loving supportive family of yours, well, how supportive do you think they will be when they discover that their baby Tinkerbelle is nothing but a vindictive whore?" he asked me with an evil grin as I felt my face go pale over the truth in his words. My family would be devastated. They would all know. They all would know my hate for a girl who did nothing to deserve it as well as my lust for a man who turned me down countless times until he couldn't anymore.

"You can call me an evil bastard, but people will know you're no better by the time everything is said and done. Trust me, I will make sure they know," he said with a firm tone and snarky glare that shook me to my core since I knew he meant it. He would expose me as quickly and painfully as what I would him.

"So what do say, doll? What are you going to do?"He asked me with an evil smirk that made me sick since he knew I had no choice left in the matter unless I wanted my black heart to be ousted alongside his.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! One more chapter then the epi.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

I walked down the hallway with determination. I was leaving for the day, but was not looking forward to the time off. Tucked in my purse was a white envelope filled with crisp one hundred dollar bills left for me at my apartment even though I had refused them countless times before.

No one paid me any attention as I walked out of the glass prison that was the corporate office. I was no one and for once I was at peace with that. I had given up on the idea of being anyone outside of me. I had given up on a lot and for the most part I was fine with it. I would move on and try to view this as a lessoned learned.

I took the bus to my destination since I knew I would be in no mood drive and there would be no one waiting for me afterwards. He had told me a much. He had done his part to right our wrong and now he had his own problems to contend with.

Edward had shocked me by completely taking away any power I held in the situation. After he left the diner he promptly went home and told his beloved wife about our affair. He told her about an affair that started by him being pursued by a younger woman that ended in a seedy coffee chop on the other side of town. He told her everything, except my name and the fact that I was carrying his child. In the end, he took the brunt of the blame while letting me slip away into the night innocently. I would not have been as generous with him and he knew this. He had always known me better than I had ever known him.

I did not know if his marriage would survive and honestly I did not care either. I had heard the gossip that she had tossed him out and had burned his clothes on their manicured front lawn. I had also heard they were in counseling and it was this so called surprising affair that had resulted in Edward's leave of absence with the company. It was whispered that he wasn't coming back until his marriage was repaired, if that was at all possible.

I got off at my stop and walked the few blocks over to the clinic. The receptionist greeted me with a warm smile as I gave her my information. They were expecting me. This was the last thing that Edward and I had set up together during our last conversation. It was the one thing that we both agreed upon.

I wasn't ready to be a mother, let alone a mother without a partner or support, even though Mrs. Cullen was brave enough to attempt it after kicking Edward out, but I had never been Mrs. Cullen and would never be. Edward was right in the aspect that I could not do this without my family, yet I couldn't let my family know who I had become just to have a man who never loved me to begin with. It was sick and showed my black heart that I tried to keep secret from the world to see.

I waited alone until my name was called announcing they were ready for me. I was ready too. I was ready to put this behind me, to start again and maybe for once try to do the right thing instead of what was easy since there was nothing easy about what I had done or what I was about to do.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Last installment is tomorrow with the names being revealed for those who care. Also, for those who might be upset and wanting to rant at me over the idea of abortion, please do not bother. I am the mother of 4 and while I know I could/would not choose an abortion I am a staunch believer/supporter of Pro Choice. Please kindly save your breath and anger over it since you will not get me to change my mind.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**

**xoxo**


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**warning! Not beta'd**

**EPI**

_**Four years later…**_

Time was an odd thing since you had asked me four years ago if I would be here back in my home town I would have laughed at you. If you had suggested to me at the darkest moments of my life that in four shirt years I would be a wife and mother I would have cackled like a hen in response. I never would have believed you, but then again why would when I have? I had no reason to believe that after everything I would find something good in life.

"Mommy!" I heard the familiar voice scream for me as I walked towards him on the preschool playground. It was his first day and I had been worried about him since I had never left him before.

"Hey little man," I called as my little boy came barreling towards me to wrap me in a tight hug around my legs. My beloved boy, Ethan Charles was everything mom could ask for and everything I didn't believe that I would deserve.

"Be careful with mommy, E," his father, my husband Liam called out to our boy as he half tackled me in the middle of the quad.

"Remember our baby in her belly so we have to keep it safe," Liam cooed to him in a loving tone, while placing a protective hand over my expanding belly that housed our growing daughter. Ethan turned from me to tossing himself towards the only father he had ever known and would only know since to Liam he was the boy's father.

"Come here my boy," he said with wide grin as he picked up my boy and swung him around wildly making him scream with laughter as I became lost in memories of what I called my long lost past before I found the goodness that life had to offer.

When I was called back for the procedure at the clinic I Iistened as they explained to me what was going to happen and I was fine with it. I was fine with terminating this pregnancy. I was fine with it all until they performed one last check to confirm how far along I was. It was during this check that a mistake was made, or at least it was a mistake to me since somehow in that examination I heard the heartbeat. It was all I needed to know I couldn't do it. It may have been the right thing to do, but I just knew I couldn't go through with it. I walked out of the clinic and sat in a grubby looking coffee shop since there was nowhere else for me to go.

I remember sitting there, wondering what the hell I would do and how I could manage this since this, this baby was not something I wanted and there was no one there to help me. It was in that dark moment that I made a phone call to the only friend I had left and surprisingly enough Liam answered.

It was a long night as I confessed everything to him. I told him of my seduction and an affair that ended with me pregnant. He listened and wiped at my tears as I cried over how no one would forgive me for what I had done. He whispered that everything would work itself out since it always did. He offered to come with me to tell my parents since he knew how terrified I was of doing that since the last thing I wanted was to disappoint them and that's what I would do with this mistake.

It was while holding Liam's hand that I told my parents that I was pregnant. It was with Liam beside me that we spoke of what to do next and made them promise never to tell anyone since I was done with Edward every bit as much as what he was done with me.

It was Liam's hand I held as we left town with the idea of not coming back. I had nowhere to go and when he offered to bring me along with him to get away I could not say no. I needed to get away from the family gossip of Edward trying to save his marriage while his wife stayed with her parents. I needed to get away from the disappointed looks of my mother who cried when ever she saw me while sobbing over how I had not only wrecked my life, but my cousin's life as well. I just needed to get away.

It was in a new town and with a new job that I finally was able to find some sort of peace even though it was short lived since as each day passed my belly grew. My belly grew and as it did so did my fears. I wasn't ready to face this child that I never wanted. I didn't want to see the person that had been created out of the worst of two people since I was sure it would be a monster. I was positive that my failures and his father's sins would be evident on the child's face, yet when they handed my son to me, crying while covered in goo, he was nothing more than a beautiful baby boy. He was no monster. He was perfect and sweet. He was the best thing that came out of a horrible situation. He was the redemption I was seeking. He was silver lining in the dark cloud that had taken over my life which resulted in his conception.

It was after his birth that everything changed for the better as if the sun was finally coming through the dark clouds. It was after his birth that I was able to realize that if he was good that maybe, just maybe I was too.

It was after Ethan that I was able to give Liam a chance and that chance grew into a love that I never deserved, but could not have asked for more of. It was that love that lead to our marriage, our life and the new child growing inside of me. It was also that love that promised me that no matter who was Ethan's father, it was Liam that would only ever be his dad.

"Oh my god Tinkerbelle!" I heard a familiar voice exclaim, pulling me out of being lost as I watched my two boys together. Just hearing her voice after years of nothing and dreading caused me to cringe. I had never wanted to see her again since I wasn't sure if I could stop myself from apologizing for all the heart ache I had caused her, not that she had ever known it was me since Edward had made sure of that.

"Oh, hi," I stammered softly as I was wrapped up on soft hug by a woman who had no business hugging me. When she pulled away I looked at her. She was still stunningly beautiful with her dark hair pulled back in a soft pony tail and soft makeup on her pretty face. Her clothes were perfect and proudly displayed her growing belly as well. She was pregnant again, but mom had told me that. Mom had told me of how hard Edward had fought to save his marriage, of how he changed everything to show her that he was sorry and that it would never happen again. I wanted to believe him as mom told me that, but more importantly I wanted to believe his flowery promises for her.

"Look at you!" she exclaimed as she looked at me with warm eyes and a matching smile as she reached out to touch my hair. I had let to go back to the pale gold I had been born with instead of the chocolate brown that I had dyed it from high school on.

"I always loved your hair like this," she murmured as I thanked her while whispering how my husband loved me as a blonde as well.

"You're mom told me you and Liam had moved back," she said just as Liam returned with our little boy on his shoulders.

"Yeah, we're back," I said lamely as I tried to think of something to say to her without asking about Edward.

"Is this your little boy?" she asked as she looked at my son with a smile as I felt every nerve in my body go on alert as if somehow by looking at my boy she would know, she would know how he came about and who he belonged to even though I knew there was no way she could tell. Yes, he had his father's green eyes and narrow nose, but his lips and hair color were mine even, making him a nice mix of the two of us.

"Yes, this is Ethan," I said with a smile that graced my face whenever I spoke of my boy.

"He is so beautiful," she said with a grin before launching a long laugh before talking about both of her daughters.

"This one is another girl as well,' she said as she rubbed her belly lovingly with a beautiful grin.

"Edward says that he's thrilled with another, but I know somewhere in there he has to want a son even if he won't admit it to me," she said as I felt a pang of emotion as I looked over at the boy who was Edward's son even if she didn't know it.

"Maybe next time," I offered as she laughed in agreement as if we were old friends discussing babies and marriage.

"There you are," I heard him call out to her causing my heart to pound in my chest over nerves. I hadn't seen Edward since that night in the diner when we ended our affair with the agreement to terminate the mistake that was made by us. I listened to their sweet bickering that hinted at their happy marriage as I felt Liam's hand slip into mine to soothe me. He knew to so well that he was aware that I wanted to disappear. I wanted hide. I wanted to take Ethan and hide, but there was no way out now. Edward never knew I did not go through with the abortion. He never checked and I never told. When Ethan was born my mother told our family Liam was the father as if any of them cared at all about me or my son.

"Edward, you remember Katie, right?" she said as she motioned towards me with a wide grin as I gripped Liam's hand as if he was my life line and he was in the situation.

I looked at the man who had ruled my world with honest eyes for what had to be for the first time ever. Edward was every bit as handsome as the last time I had seen him with her chiseled looks and firm jaw. His green eyes went wide with shock as he looked at me before masking it with a welcoming smile that was clearly off as it graced his face.

"Of course, nice to see you again, Kate," he said without missing a beat while slipping his arm around his wife in what was clearly a protective manner. I knew what he was doing without hearing his words. He was protecting from me as if I was a threat to him and her, but I knew better. I had never been a threat to her even if I was too stupid to see it at the time.

Our eyes locked and in that moment I waited. I waited for the heat and electricity that I used to feel under his gaze, but in that moment I felt nothing. I felt nothing for him and it made me want to laugh, but there was nothing funny about this awkward meeting.

"This is my husband Liam," I said as I broke our gaze to motion to the man at my left. I watched as Edward looked over at him and wondered if he remembered him as well, but knew better than to ask.

"Congratulations," he said as he motioned towards my middle that I was cradling protectively before his eyes locked upon Ethan.

"This is their son, Ethan. Isn't he a doll?" she cooed as Liam pulled Ethan off his shoulders to hold him closer in a protective manner. I watched as Edward looked at our son. I wondered if he could see himself in him since I did every day. I could see Edward in his laugher and determination. I could see Edward in everything he did and that was far from a curse.

"How old is he?" he asked in a weak voice as he looked at our boy.

"He's three," I replied as I waited while he looked from Ethan to me with a knowing look in his eyes. He knew this was his son, yet he remained silent since what was there say? What could he say without outing every lie and every half truth that he had told his wife concerning his momentary indiscretion that he had with some nameless, faceless, girl three years ago.

"He's beautiful, doll," he whispered to me in a reverent tone while using the nickname he had always used for me while leaving me too breathless to speak from the emotion he evoked within me since I knew this would be the closest I would ever get to his love for our son.

We stood there silent for another moment until I could take it no longer.

"We have to be going, but this is was…" I stammered as I tried to find a word to explain this meeting outside of horrible and awkward.

"Nice," she finished with a smile that was warm as her husband held her close, reminding me that it was always her, but I didn't care anymore since I had my own man who loved me for me. It was amazing how freeing it was not to care.

"Come on, Bella," he said as he urged his wife on to catch up with their two daughters who were chasing after a bird on the playground leaving me to leave with Liam, Ethan and the new found sense of peace that came from knowing that everything was as it should be even though we had tried our best to burn every good thing we had to the ground.

"You ok?" Liam asked me in a worried voice as he looked at me with love and concern, but there was no reason for him to worry. I was long over the man who walked away from me. I had been over him for years and now only had the best of him in the form of my son.

"I am amazingly wonderful, baby, and that's because of you" I whispered to him with a grin that soothed him as he took hold of my hand while we walked out of the playground together and towards our own version of our happily ever after.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading and thank you for taking this ride with me. I want to especially thank Beegurl13. She had known since the beginning what my idea was since I had borrowed it from her story "Baby". Seriously folks, go read it and beg for the continuation of EPOV as well as knowing how it really ends. I have to say I enjoyed the guessing of this story over who was who and I hope you did as well. **

**Until next time,**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


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